


Awkward

by lovemeequally



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alpha Clarke, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Beta Raven, Consensual Underage Sex, F/F, F/M, Friends With Benefits, G!P Clarke, Girl Penis Clarke, Jealous Clarke, Jealous Lexa, Jealousy, Loner Clarke, Loss of Virginity, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, More tags to be added, Omega Lexa, Omega Luna, Player Lexa, Shy clarke, Slow Burn, Smut, Underage Drinking, a whole lotta angst, popular lexa, time jumps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-07 21:15:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10369587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemeequally/pseuds/lovemeequally
Summary: Clarke is an awkward shy alpha and Lexa is a popular omega at their small high school. Clarke has the biggest crush on Lexa Woods and Lexa just might like her back. But of course it's never that easy.Lexa is a player and cares a little too much about what people think of her. Clarke is the exact opposite. Will they be able to make it work?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is sort of inspired by the MTV show 'Awkward,' but it really deviates off course. Basically, it's just gonna be a mix of all those cliche teen shows we all grew up watching.

Clarke Griffin never thought her sophomore year of high school would start out like this, with everyone staring at her. You had the jocks, the geeks, and everything in between. Don’t get Clarke wrong, she always imagined everyone stopping in the halls to watch her strut to class. But she never thought it’d actually happen.

Wearing an arm cast, Clarke walks down the hall shyly desperately trying to hurry to her first class and get out of the public’s eye. She can’t believe this is her life right now.

Clarke gets to class a minute late and there are no seats but one left. And who is that seat next to? Well Lexa Woods. _Of course._

Lexa looks at her and her eyes widen slightly. The soccer star looks as if she’s about to say something when her friends call her back into whatever conversation they were having. Clarke tucks her hair behind her eye subconsciously and sits down. It all started with Lexa Woods at the end of summer camp. What a cliche.

_3 Weeks Ago_

Clarke Griffin sits on the bleachers drinking some punched spiked with vodka. Everyone is getting drunk in the school gym after the summer camp that everyone in the small town goes to. The blonde looks around at all the teens laughing and dancing and then stares at her feet. She feels slightly invisible in school unless she’s around her best friend Raven and Raven went off to some fancy space camp instead.

Clarke looks up again and sees none other than Lexa Woods staring at her from across the room. Lexa smiles and winks her way and Clarke gulps. Clarke has had the BIGGEST crush on Lexa Woods since the start of freshman year. But to be fair, everyone has a crush on Lexa Woods. Everyone loves her.

Lexa excuses herself from her rowdy group of friends and makes her way over to Clarke. Clarke chokes on her drink a little and her eyes grow wide when she realizes the gorgeous brunette with sparkling green eyes is making her way over to her.

“Hey. I’m Lexa. Do you want to go hang out a little?” The brunette says with a smirk on her face. Clarke swallows and nods furiously. Lexa chuckles and offers Clarke her hand, leading her out of the gym and into the utility room.

Clarke is nervous but in a good way. The utility room is cramped and dark but Lexa is here so it’s perfect. Lexa smiles and moves Clarke’s stray blonde hair behind her ear. Clarke giggles and Lexa smiles wide. This blonde girl is cute, Lexa decides. I think I like her.

Lexa leans in and presses her lips to Clarke’s, cupping her face. Clarke squeals inwardly. Her first kiss ever is with Lexa freakin Woods! Lexa’s kisses begin to get deeper and more sensual. Lexa licks at Clarke’s lips and the blonde opens her mouth hesitantly. All Clarke can think about is how much she likes Lexa and how worried she is that she’s going to be bad at this kissing thing.

Clarke throws her hands around Lexa’s neck and the brunette smirks. Lexa’s hands roam over Clarke’s clothes, palming her ass and massaging her breasts. Clarke moans out in pleasure. She’s nervous and excited and turned on. She’s never been turned on before. Her lower core is tingling and she feels this intense need to be touched down there. Clarke softly gasps at the realization.

“Can I take your top off?” Lexa asks lustfully and Clarke nods immediately. Holy shit, Lexa Woods is going to see her with her top off. Lexa pulls off Clarke’s camp t shirt and her mouth waters. Clarke is huge. Since Clarke’s breathing is heavy from all the kissing, her chest is going up and down. Her breasts are perfect. 

“Fuck, I love your body Clarke.” Lexa mumbles as she sucks on Clarke’s neck. She slips her hand under Clarke’s bra and starts rubbing the blonde’s nipples. Clarke moans loudly.

“Oh my god.” Clarke moans some more and almost whines when Lexa’s hands retreat.

“Can we lay down?” Lexa asks sweetly. 

“Yeah.” Clarke simply replies, too shocked that this is happening to say anything else.

Lexa lays out a blanket before Clarke lays on her back. Lexa gets on top of her and takes of her own top. They heatedly make out for a long time when Lexa starts to grind down on Clarke. Clarke moans and Lexa gasps into each other’s mouths. Clarke is so aroused. She needs more touching.

“Can I take our pants off?” Lexa mumbles against Clarke’s lips and Clarke whispers out a shaky yes. Clarke’s boner is prominent in her boxers by this point. Clarke is an alpha. She just presented this summer. She’s a late bloomer. Meanwhile, Lexa Woods is the best smelling omega around. Lexa Woods is admittedly a bit of a player but Clarke doesn’t care. She likes her and she’s going to enjoy the moment.

Lexa takes her panties off and Clarke’s boxers. Lexa gasps at the size.

“Wow, you’re really big.” Lexa mumbles out. Clarke’s red blush runs all the way to her neck.

“Uh thanks.” Clarke says shyly. Her dick twitches out in excitement. Lexa smirks. 

“Can I ride you?” Lexa asks, wildly turned on. Lexa has had sex before. Okay, she’s had lots of sex and she isn’t ashamed of it. She knows she’s a bit of a player. But Clarke’s scent is so addicting. 

Lexa takes out a condom and puts it on Clarke’s member. Clarke moans at the slight touch and her cheeks go red with embarrassment. Lexa just smiles straddles Clarke, letting her wetness coat Clarke’s dick. The blonde’s hips buck uncontrollably. 

Lexa aligns her entrance with Clarke’s member and looks down at the blonde. “Can I?” Lexa breathes out, more turned on than she has been in her entire life.

“Y-yeah.” Clarke mumbles out and Lexa nods slightly before slowly sitting down on Clarke’s member. Lexa moans and gasps and whimpers. The sinful sounds coming out of her mouth is to die for. Clarke grips her hips, her inner alpha coming out. Clarke’s eyes are red from her inner wolf and Lexa’s are purple. 

Every wolf’s eyes change when they let their wolves come out. Red is a symbol of the strongest of alphas. Usually, alphas have pure black eyes. And purples eyes for an omega symbolizes the strongest of omegas as well. Usually, omegas have yellow eyes. 

Lexa moans as she rides Clarke. Clarke growls loud, trying not to come so quick. Lexa would for sure know she’s a virgin if she comes this fast. There’s no way she’s going to let herself come embarrassingly quick.

Lexa chuckles out at Clarke’s growl, gasping when Clarke’s dick hits that inner soft spongy spot. “Oh god! Oh god!” Lexa screams out, almost on the brink of tears. Her hips speed up and Clarke is a goner. Clarke growls loud in pleasure and comes hard. Lexa starts coming not a second later, screaming and begging and whimpering. 

Once they finish, Lexa removes herself from Clarke’s member and starts to clean herself up. Clarke does the same. They awkwardly get dressed and stand there looking at each other for a second. 

“So can you believe summer is almost over? That’s wild.” Lexa tries to make some small talk.

“Yeah it’s crazy.” Clarke nods in agreement. Clarke clears her throat and decides to just go for it. “So uhm are you going to sophomore orientation?” Clarke asks nervously.

“Yeah..isn’t it mandatory?” Lexa chuckles confused.

“Right! Yeah, of course it is.” Clarke rambles nervously. “I was just uhm wondering..if you’d wanna go maybe together..We can even get some food after too.” There Clarke went for it. She’d regret it forever if she didn’t ask the amazing Lexa Woods out.

Lexa looks at her with a soft smile on her face. “You’re amazing Clarke.” Lexa gently kisses Clarke’s forehead and the blonde beams. “But we run in different groups. Nobody can know I like you.” Lexa smiles, satisfied with her answer, before leaving Clarke all alone in the utility closet.

///

So yeah Lexa kind of broke Clarke’s poor little teen heart that day. But it’s okay. Clarke is over it. 

Okay yeah not even Clarke believes that lie. 

The bell rings and Clarke takes her time to pack her books together. While Lexa walks past her, she sneakily slips a note on Clarke’s desk. Clarke looks at the note confused until she opens it up.

_3:30 in the parking lot. I drive a jeep._

Clarke looks at the note and smiles. She folds it away in her pocket and goes on with her day. Maybe her sophomore year isn’t going to go as bad as she thought. 

///

Clarke goes to sit with Raven in the cafeteria. They sit in the grass under a tree, away from everyone else. Raven smiles and hugs her when she sits down. Clarke’s mom and dad are always going on and on about how her and Raven are going to get married one day. Clarke and Raven just chuckle at their parents. They’re good friends. That’s it.

“So you’re the talk of the school, Clarkey.” Raven says teasingly. Clarke rolls her eyes. Everyone has been talking about the strong alpha that saved the kid from being hit by a car two weeks ago. That alpha just so happens to be Clarke.

Clarke was walking down the sidewalk when she saw a little boy, not older than 5 years old run out into the street to get his ball. A car was speeding down the street and didn’t see him. Clarke ran in front of the car and pushed the kid out of the way, saving him. She broke her arm but the doctors say she was lucky. She could have died if she was hit by the car at the wrong angle. 

Their town is small though. So Clarke’s heroic effort was spread throughout their town in no time. And now suddenly everyone is taking notice of the shy quiet alpha Clarke Griffin. Her scent and build changed over the summer too since she presented as an alpha. She’s strong and her scent is overwhelming and intense to other alphas. To betas and omegas, she smells absolutely delicious. So yeah, sophomore year is definitely a changing year for Clarke Griffin.

“Ugh I don’t even want to talk about that.” Clarke mumbles and Raven chuckles.

“How about we talk about how Luna Forrest is coming this way?” Raven says in a shocked tone. Clarke chuckles, thinking she’s kidding. No way Luna would come up to them.

“Hey.. it’s Clarke and Raven right?” Luna asks politely. Clarke whips up and looks at her.

“Um yeah.” Clarke replies dumbly.

“Great. I am head of the school newspaper and I wanted to do a feature on you. You know, you’re becoming quite the talk of the town, Clarke Griffin.” Luna smiles warmly.

Luna Forrest is insanely popular and best friends with Lexa Woods. They basically run the school. They’ve been best friends since they were babies. Luna is an omega too. She dates the head cheerleader Octavia Blake. Octavia, Clarke, and Raven used to be close as kids until Octavia tried out for the middle school cheer team and refused to talk to her again.

“I guess I am.” Clarke responds shyly. “But I just did what anyone would do. I don’t really see the point in featuring me. I’m not all that interesting.” Clarke replies truthfully. Luna shakes her head.

“Oh I doubt that.” Luna says in a friendly tone. “How about we go for tea tomorrow after school? We can just talk and if you decided you don’t want the feature to run, I won’t do it. You seem cool, Clarke. I’d like to get to know you.” Luna says truthfully.

“Um okay. Yeah I can do that.” Clarke says with a smile on her face, getting butterflies in her stomach.

“Great. I’ll see you tomorrow Clarke. Nice meeting you both.” Luna smiles and walks off. Once she’s gone, Raven winks at Clarke teasingly. Clarke shushes her and they go back to eating their lunch.

///

“Wow you’re really fucking good at that for someone who has one arm in a cast.” Lexa says, out of breath. She’s lying half naked on top of Clarke in the back seat of her jeep. Clarke blushes while trying to catch her breath.

“Thanks.” Clarke replies simply. She cannot believe her and Lexa just slept together again. She wasn’t sure what Lexa wanted when she asked her to meet up after school but now she _definitely_ knows.

“Well I better get going. I have soccer practice in a half hour.” Lexa says as she puts her clothes on in the cramped space of the backseat. Clarke nods.

“So..” Clarke gains the courage to speak. “What are we doing exactly?” Clarke asks and Lexa looks at her fondly.

“We are having some fun.” Lexa lifts Clarke’s chin to meet in a chaste kiss. “I like you Clarke. I just..I don’t do relationships and contrary to all the rumours around school, I like to keep my personal affairs private. If that’s not your thing then we should just stop. I can’t promise you anything.” Lexa answers quietly, trying to act cool. Secretly though, she’s nervous that Clarke is going to reject her offer of being super secret sex friends. For some reason, Lexa doesn’t want just one night with Clarke and that alone scares the shit out of her.

“Oh..” Clarke says quietly. “Um okay..yeah I guess that makes sense.” Clarke says slowly. I mean, she really likes Lexa. Like she really _really_ likes Lexa. How can she say no?

“Great.” Lexa beams, moving to kiss Clarke’s cheek. “Does tomorrow same time work for you?”

“Uhh actually I’m meeting Luna for tea.” Clarke stutters out and Lexa whips her head in Clarke’s direction. There’s something unrecognizable in her eyes. Neither girls realize that it’s jealousy.

“What?” Lexa asks shocked. “As in my best friend Luna Forrest?” Lexa asks slowly. “She doesn’t even know you.” Lexa spits out and it hurts Clarke a little that Lexa doesn’t want her associating with her friends.

“She wants to do a feature on me..cause I saved that little boy.” Clarke mumbles and Lexa’s eyes immediately soften.

“Ohh...I heard about that.” Lexa says softly. “You’re one of the good ones Clarke.” Lexa mumbles kissing Clarke’s lips delicately, more intimate than any of their other kisses.

“I’ll see you soon.” Lexa whispers before jumping out of the car and into the front seat. Clarke gets out of the backseat and walks back to the school to wait for Raven’s astronomy club meeting to get out. 

What an interesting year this will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't hate Lexa too much she's confused. She cares way too much about popularity but that will all change..eventually.
> 
> How is it so far? Comments are welcome !


	2. I Can't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa continue having sex in secret. Will that be enough for Clarke?

The bell for class rings the next day. The second day was just as bad as the first will all the staring and gawking. Some girls and boys even winked at her. Clarke is just beyond baffled.

Lexa ignored her in class again. This time she didn’t even look in her direction, choosing to talk to Octavia and Lincoln instead. Clarke just rolls her eyes and focuses on her work. She’d by lying if she said it didn’t hurt.

Once Clarke gets outside, she looks around for Luna. Suddenly, someone barges into her. It’s Ontari, another cheerleader.

“Watch out loser. You know your little hero act doesn’t fool us. You’re just a loner loser with five seconds of fame. Enjoy it while it lasts because it won’t last forever.” Ontari spits out. Octavia and Lexa look a little guilty but don’t stop her. Clarke bites her lip to avoid crying. She doesn’t care what Ontari has to say. It’s Lexa that bothers her. She didn’t say a word.

Lexa pauses for a minute as her group keeps walking and laughing. They call out for her to hurry up but the brunette just stares into Clarke’s blue eyes. There’s a beat where neither the omega or alpha say a word.

“Hey Clarke, over here!” Luna calls out from car. Lexa is startled by the sound of her best friend calling over her..well she doesn’t really know what to call Clarke. Clarke smiles shyly and walks over to Luna. Lexa would be lying if she said it didn’t make her insanely jealous.

“Hi Luna.” Clarke says softly and Luna smiles. Luna likes Clarke. She’s sweet and modest, the complete opposite of her girlfriend. She wishes Octavia could be a little nicer and more compassionate.

“Hop in the passenger seat. I know this great tea shop in town.” Luna smiles and Clarke nods, hurrying to get in the car.

Once they get to the tea shop, they talk for hours. They talk about their classes and their favorite movies and musics. It turns out Luna is a big fan of some of the same stuff Clarke is in to. They talk for so long that they don’t even get to talk about the whole reason they came for tea : Clarke’s feature.

By the time it hits 5:30 p.m., Clarke’s dad Jake texts her asking where she is. Clarke is shocked that her Dad even texted her. He’s usually never around, always working late ever since her mother passed away three years ago.

“I should get going. My dad wants me home.” Clarke says regretfully. She really enjoys spending time with Luna. Luna is nice to her and Clarke is actually comfortable hanging out around her. Clarke doesn’t really like socializing in big groups. It gives her anxiety. She feels safe around Luna though. She feels light.

“Oh yeah, I should probably get home too. Here, I’ll give you a ride.” Luna offers kindly and Clarke accepts. Once they get to Clarke’s house, Luna stops the car and smiles at Clarke. “You know, today was a lot of fun. I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard in a while...Can we hangout again something you think?” Luna asks hopefully. Clarke blushes and nods.

“Y-yeah. I’d like that.” Clarke says softly and Luna hands Clarke her phone.

“Perfect! Give me your phone number and we can make plans to meet up soon. After all, we still didn’t talk about that feature.” Luna jokes and Clarke giggles. Maybe this year isn’t so bad after all.

///

_Three Weeks Later_

“Right there! Oh my god Clarke! You’re so good at doing th..Oh! Oh! Yes!” Lexa screams and moans as she climaxes. 

Lexa has had to be on top every time because Clarke has a cast still. Clarke’s cast comes off next week though so they could try out new positions. Clarke is a little nervous. She’s only had sex with Lexa and every time Lexa has been on top. What if she’s bad?

Lexa climbs off of Clarke and collapses in Clarke’s bed. They’ve been having sex after school at Clarke’s house for about two weeks now. Her Dad is never home and she always has the place to herself. 

“That was amazing as usual.” Lexa smiles out dopely and it makes Clarke fall even harder for her. Post orgasm Lexa is one of her favorite versions of Lexa. She’s all dreamy eyed and she yawns adorably and cuddles into Clarke. It makes Clarke think they’re more than they actually are. 

“Yeah.” Clarke agrees quietly. Clarke is never one for a lot of words. “I..you know you’re really beautiful Lexa.” Clarke says in a whisper. Lexa tenses a little and looks up into Clarke’s eyes, searching for something.

“Clarke..” Lexa warns.

“It’s just umm...I know you don’t like the school knowing your business but I was wondering if we could um..you know if we could start hanging out in public. We could just say we were friends. Nobody would know.” Clarke rambles on nervously and Lexa’s face turned pained.

“I can’t do that.” Lexa mumbles sadly as she launches out of the bed and grabs her clothes. “Clarke, you knew what this was when we started it.” Lexa says in a frustrated tone, mostly frustrated by her intense want to say yes to everything Clarke was offering.

“I know..I...I just don’t see the big deal in people seeing us together.” Clarke says in a pained voice. Lexa turns around to see Clarke’s sad face. Shit, she’s hurting the poor alpha. That’s the last thing she wants.

“How about we go to this frozen yogurt shop I know? It’s a little out of the way but it’s good. That’s public right?” Lexa says hopeful. She knows she can’t be seen with Clarke around town but maybe the blonde will settle for going outside of town? Lexa just can’t lose Clarke. She doesn’t know why but she just can’t.

“Okay.” Clarke says shakily. Lexa smiles and kisses Clarke on the lips.

“Okay. Let’s take a quick shower to get the smell of sex of us and then we can go.” Lexa says sweetly and Clarke nods. They’d both be lying if they said their hearts didn’t beat crazy for one another.

Their ‘quick’ shower isn’t as quick as they anticipated. They have sex in the shower and by the time they leave Clarke’s house it’s about 8 p.m. Lexa drives them a good half hour out of town to this cute little froyo shop. Clarke isn’t stupid. She knows Lexa doesn’t want to be seen out with her. But the omega is trying and at least for right now, that’s all that matters to Clarke.

“I like the strawberry shortcake yogurt. It’s really good here.” Lexa murmurs in her ear before leaning to kiss her cheek. Clarke blushes. Lexa Woods actually kissed her in public?! Clarke’s heart is beating fast and hard.

“I’ll have to try it then.” Clarke says shakily and Lexa smiles triumphantly.

“How about I make your cup and you make mine.” Lexa says softly and Clarke smiles.

“You got yourself a deal.” Clarke says quietly but happy.

“Seal the deal with a kiss?” Lexa says with an innocent smirk on her face. Clarke bites her lip and nods. Lexa points towards her cheek, signaling for Clarke to kiss her there. Clarke takes a risk and kisses really close to the corner of Lexa’s mouth. Lexa gasps slightly and stares in Clarke’s eyes. She’s never felt this way before.

The two girls pick out each other’s frozen yogurts out and sit on one of the couches. The froyo shop is cool. It has dark lighting and couches. It’s pretty crowded but not with anyone either girl knows. 

Lexa acts so carefree and happy. She kisses Clarke on the cheek and feeds her so frozen yogurt. They giggle and laugh and cuddle. It’s perfect. Lexa doesn’t want to admit to herself that she’s fallen in love with Clarke Griffin but she has. She has and there’s no way she can stop it now.

///

_Two Weeks Later_

“So homecoming is this week..” Clarke says quietly as Lexa puts her clothes on. They see each other almost everyday. Sometimes they don’t even have sex. Lexa just loves to be in Clarke’s presence. She won’t admit that though.

Clarke keeps falling harder and harder for the omega even though she’s figured out that she’s just setting herself up for heartbreak. Lexa ignores her in school. She never even spares her a second glance. All the cheerleaders flirt with Lexa. They touch her biceps and laugh at all her jokes. It drives Clarke wild and it makes her wolf cry out in agony.

Clarke wonders if Lexa is sleeping with anyone else. She’s too afraid to ask though. Besides, she knows they aren’t exclusive so Lexa can do as she pleases. Little does Clarke know, Lexa only flirts with those girls to maintain her reputation. She thinks it’s _harmless_ but Lexa doesn’t even realize how _harmful_ it is to Clarke. In all reality, Lexa hasn’t slept with anyone else since her and Clarke’s first time at the end of summer camp.

“Yeah I know.” Lexa states nervously. A part of her is hoping Clarke will ask her to go together and another part of her is hoping won’t. Because she wants to go with Clarke. God, does she want to go with Clarke. Lexa knows deep down she won’t though. And for two reasons, reason #1 is that she can’t afford to fall in love with Clarke. Love is weakness. She can’t let her feelings spiral any further out of control. Reason #2 is that she can’t afford to lose her reputation. Her father Titus ingrained it in her that her soccer career and her popularity are the only things that are important in life. Lexa refuses to let him down and that means she can’t be with Clarke puplicly. It’s that simple.

“And umm well..I know you might say no but I would kick myself in the ass if I didn’t ask you...so here it is, Lexa Woods, will you be my date to homecoming?” Clarke asks nervously. Lexa’s wolf swoons. She can smell Clarke’s nervous phermones and eagerly pumps out soothing ones to calm the alpha.

“Clarke, I can’t.” Lexa says sadly. “I already said yes to someone else.” Lexa lies. She’s turned every person who has asked her down.

“Oh..right yeah.” Clarke chuckles sadly. “I just figured I’d give it a shot.” Clarke mumbles defeatedly. “I gotta use the bathroom. I’ll be back.” Clarke hurries to say before darting off to the bathroom. Clarke wills away her tears and wipes the few spare ones that manage to fall. “Fuck, you’re so stupid. How could you think she would go to homecoming with you when she won’t even say hi to you in English class?” Clarke mumbles to herself.

Clarke comes back a few minutes later with a fake smile on her face. Lexa is gone though. Clarke reads the note that Lexa left for her on her bed.

_Sorry my mom called. I have to get back home for dinner. See you soon._

Of course, she’s gone. One thing Lexa Woods can’t do (and believe me, she can do most things) is talk about her feelings.

///

The next day word spreads around the school that Lexa just asked Ontari to the dance. Clarke grows angry at the news. The usually docile alpha is livid. Lexa said somebody already asked her but that’s apparently not true. Apparently Lexa just asked Ontari, the most viscous of Clarke’s bully’s. Lexa never really cared, did she?

Clarke feels so stupid. She looks for Lexa during lunch. She shoot her a text and tells her to meet in the utility closet. Lexa excuses herself from her lunch table with a smile on her face. She never gets to see Clarke during the day. Clarke is always the highlight of her day.

Lexa gets in the utility closet and Clarke is already waiting for her. Clarke has the harsh light on and it’s not exactly the best lighting for sex.

“Hey. Do you think we can turn off those lights? I just don’t think it’s best mood setter.” Lexa says with a small smile on her face. Clarke looks calm. She’s trying not to blow up at Lexa. Lexa pulls her in for a kiss but Clarke’s lips aren’t moving against hers. Clarke’s lips are her favorite thing but right now something is wrong.

“Is something wrong?” Lexa asks confused. Clarke scoffs, her face no longer neutral.

“This has all been some sick joke to you, hasn’t it?” Clarke asks like she already knows the answer. Lexa’s brows furrow. She has no idea where this is coming from.

“Clarke?” Lexa is worried now. She’s never seen Clarke so upset.

“Were you tired of all the pretty perfect cheerleaders throwing themeselves at you? So you decided to sleep with some loser virgin alpha?” Clarke spats out sadly. Lexa’s eyes widen. Clarke was a virgin? She had no idea.

“Clarke..I didn’t realize you were a virgin. I...I’m..I didn’t know.” Lexa stutters out. She instantly feels bad. Lexa never asked though. It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that Lexa ever really asked Clarke anything personal.

“That’s not the point, Lexa. The point is that you treat me like shit and I’m tired of it. It’s like you’re two different people. One is amazing and beautiful and sweet and the other just ignores me and let's her friends berate me. You obviously don't care about me.” Clarke mutters defeatedely.

“Clarke, I do care.” Lexa says sadly.

“If you care, then hangout with me in public. I'm not asking you to kiss me in front of all your asshole friends. All I'm asking is to treat me like a human being and not your plaything.” Clarke says sadly, wiping away her tears. “I deserve better.” Clarke says shakily.

Lexa wipes away her own tears. Clarke is right. She's been treating Clarke like complete and utter shit. Lexa heart aches. She knows she's going to lose Clarke after she says these next few words.

“I can't. I'm so sorry.” Lexa says sincerely, sniffling back her own tears. Clarke sucks in a shaky breath.

“Then I can't do this anymore. Goodbye, Lexa.” Clarke kisses Lexa’s forehead like Lexa did when she first left her. Clarke leaves and now Lexa is the one left all alone with her heartbroken in the utility closet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will be short because I have a lot of ideas and a short attention span lol
> 
> I promise I'll try and do it justice. Is there anything specific you'd like to see?


	3. If You Can't, Someone Else Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets jealous of Luna and Clarke and lashes out by saying some not nice words.

_Next Week_

“So I’m thinking about ending things with Octavia.” Luna says to Lexa. Lexa’s eyes widen. Luna and Octavia have been together for about 8 months now. Luna is always so doting to Octavia. They were the power couple of the school. And now Luna wants to break up with their friend? 

“What? Why would you want to do that? Is it because she won’t have sex with you?” Lexa asks curiously. Octavia is a virgin and has told Luna time and time again that she doesn’t want to have sex until after high school. Luna respects her choice. She would never push the girl. So instead, they still to making out and some very heavy petting sessions.

“Of course not. I just..I’m not into her anymore.” Luna mumbles. 

“But why? Unless there’s…” Lexa gulps. Please no. Is Luna into Clarke? Lexa’s stomach plummets. She knows that Luna and Clarke have become friends. Luna mentions Clarke all the time at the lunch table and everyone rolls their eyes. They don’t understand why Luna wants to be friends with such a ‘loser.’ Luna shrugs it off though. She never cares what people thinks of her. Lexa is jealous of that trait. “Is there someone else you’re into?” Lexa asks warily and Luna looks away, blushing. That’s when Lexa’s heart break.

“Maybe..” Luna smiles and blushes. 

“Is it that Griffin alpha?” Lexa spits out venomously. Her heart is beating fast and she wants to throw up. _Please say no._

“Why do you have such a problem with her, Lex? She’s really sweet.” Luna gushes and Lexa’s heart cracks. All she can think about saying back is, _I know._

“Is it her?” Lexa avoids the question, desperate to know if it’s really Clarke she’s interested in.

“Yeah..you know I’ve been hanging out with her for the past few weeks.” Luna says guitilty.

“Are...are you sleeping with her?” Lexa blurts out. Her head is dizzy and she feels like she's growing to throw up. What if Clarke has already moved on?! And with Luna no less. Lexa knows she deserves this. Karma is a bitch after all, but she doesn't think she can take this. 

“What?!” Luna splutters out. “Of course not! I'm still dating Octavia.” Luna chuckles softly. “Besides Lex, you're my best friend, I'd tell you if I lost my virginity.” 

Lexa swallows hard. She wants to cry. Now she's imagining Clarke and Luna in bed together and it's just too much to take. She can't do this.

“You shouldn't break up with Octavia. You guys are perfect together!” Lexa cries out.

Luna looks at her confused.

“Never have you been so invested in my dating life. What's up with you?” Luna ask curiously and Lexa bites her lip. 

“Nothing.” But Lexa is lying. _Everything_ is up with her and it all has to do with Clarke Griffin.

///

Luna breaks up with Octavis after school that day. The cheerleader doesn't really care all that much. They've been drifting for a while. Her biggest concern was now finding a date to the homecoming dance. When Luna suggested she should take Lincoln, Octavia blushed and said maybe she would. They ended on good terms.

Two days later, Luna plans to ask Clarke to homecoming and she's discussing it with her best friend who seems to have a big problem with Clarke Griffin.

“You deserve better Luna.” Lexa desperately says as Luna and her walk into the bathroom. “Clarke is just some weird freak loser. You shouldn't waste your time with her.” Lexa lies and it makes her stomach sicker than it was before. She hates the words coming out of her mouth. Lexa just doesn't want Luna to go out with her Clarke. Lexa supposes Clarke was never hers though, but of course that's Lexa's fault and Lexa's fault only. She looks in the bathroom mirror and doesn't even recognize herself anymore. 

“Jesus, Lexa. You need to cut it out okay? Clarke is a nice person. Stop spouting the shit Ontari is trying to fill in your head.” Luna says annoyingly. Luna knows Lexa is a good person deep down. High school has completely gone to the soccer player’s head though. 

All of a sudden a toilet flushes and the two girls turn out. Clarke Griffin walks out of the stall with the most broken hearted of looks on her face. Lexa immediately looks mortified and so does Luna, but for different reasons.

“Oh my god Clarke. I'm so sorry.” Luna hurries to apologize for her friend’s behavior. Clarke just sadly smiles and waves her off as she goes to wash her hands. Lexa is frozen, paralyzed.

“Don't be.” Clarke mutters softly. “You didn't do anything wrong.” Clarke looks up in the mirror to see Lexa staring at her with wide remorseful eyes. “I mean hey you tried to defend me. That's more than anyone has ever done for me before.” Clarke says sadly and it hits Lexa in the chest. Of course Clarke is talking about her. Lexa never defended her. She just went along with what the popular crowd wanted and now she's lost the one person who makes her feel alive, who she loves.

The bell rings and Lexa hurries out of the bathroom, muttering a “I'm sorry. Excuse me.” Neither girl sees the tears in her eyes and nobody sees her run into the utility closer to cry… _again_.

Luna watches her walk away confused and turns her attention back to Clarke. “I have to go to class.” Luna says regretfully. “Can you wait for me after school? There's something I want to ask you.” 

“Sure.” Clarke simply says. Luna smiles wide. 

“Great! I'll see you then!” Luna says enthusiastically. Clarke smiles. Luna makes all the pain go away for a bit but as soon as she's gone all Clarke can feel is the crippling rejection of Lexa Woods.

/// 

Clarke walks into the parking lot and sees Luna pull up in her jeep. Clarke smiles wide. Lexa and her little group as well as the rest of the school watches on noisily. 

Lexa swallows roughly. She hopes Clarke says no to Luna but deep down knows she won't. Lexa has done nothing but treat Clarke horribly. Clarke owes nothing to her. 

Luna’s car is filled with roses and has a big sign that says homecoming on it with a question mark. 

“Will you do me the honor of being my date?” Luna says shyly and Clarke blushes. You can hear some disappointed sighs from omegas and betas who wanted to ask Clarke or Luna themselves. 

“Yes. I'd love to.” Clarke beams wide and Luna gets out of the truck and hugs Clarke. Lexa looks on sadly. That could have been her if she were braver, if wasn't such an asshole to the only girl she's ever fallen so deeply in love with, if only she didn't follow her head but instead followed her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thank you for all the lovely comments. 
> 
> Lexa isn't all that likable right now I know. She'll get there eventually. My girl has some stuff to figure out.


	4. Figure Your Shit Out Lexa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna gushes about Clarke to Lexa. Lexa is sad and jealous. Can she fix the mess she's created or is she too late?

“So do you have a dress yet?” Luna asks with smiling. Luna invited Clarke to go to dinner and of course the alpha said yes. They ate dinner while laughing and enjoying each other's presence. They’re sharing a dessert and it’s perfect. It’s so perfect that Clarke forgets about Lexa..at least for a moment. But Lexa is never too far from her mind.

“Uh no. I didn’t plan on going until you asked.” Clarke smiles shyly and bites her lip. Luna blushes slightly.

“Oh come on, there was no one else you wanted to go with?” Luna teases, secretly curious. She’s never heard any rumours about Clarke around school. Whenever somebody dates someone in school, no matter how popular they are, it gets around. They live in a small town after all. Luna wonders about Clarke’s past but knows it perhaps isn’t her place yet to ask.

“Well..there was someone yeah.” Clarke mumbles. She’s not about to lie to Luna. But should she tell her it’s Lexa? As much as she is furious with the brunette right now, she’s not going to reveal something she doesn’t want out. She should. Lexa deserves it. But she won’t.

“Oh..they said no?” Luna asks, a little bummed. She likes Clarke but what if Clarke likes someone else?

“Well yeah. It’s complicated. That’s um..over now though.” Clarke rambles out. “Completely over.”

“Oh okay.” Luna says simply. It’s a relief that Clarke is single. She really likes the blonde and she hopes they can be something more.

“Oh wow, it’s getting late.” Luna says while checking the time on her phone. “We should get the check and then I’ll drive you home.”

“Dinner's on me.” Clarke says sweetly and Luna blushes.

“Clarke, you don’t have to do that.” Luna says honestly.

“No I want to. It’s the least I can do after that homecoming proposal.” Clarke smiles and Luna bites her lip. She really likes Clarke Griffin.

///

“It was amazing, Lex. She’s so smart. Like she reads poetry in her space time. And she told me about these bands she thought I might like and they were so so good. I don’t think I ever had such a interesting conversation. I click with her better than I ever did with Octavia.” Luna rambles on and on about how perfect her dinner with Clarke was.

Lexa listens politely and with each word her heart crushes more. She should be the one rambling incessantly about Clarke’s goofy smile whenever she tries to flirt. Or raving about how sweet her ‘hi, i missed you’ kisses are. Or laughing at that one time Clarke tried to take off her shirt when she still had her cast on and fell face first onto the floor. She should be the one gushing about Clarke Griffin. But she’s not. She’s not because she ruined it. And now she’s gone.

“That’s nice.” Lexa mumbles sadly. Luna looks over at her curiously.

“Lex, what’s wrong? I mean I know you don’t like Clarke but can you at least try and be happy for me?” Luna asks, hurt evident in her eyes. Lexa swallows. Luna is right about one thing. She doesn’t _like_ Clarke. She _loves_ her. But she missed her chance and now it’s Luna’s turn to see how amazing Clarke is. She has to be supportive of her best friend.

“I’m sorry. You’re right. I’ve been in a weird mood lately. Tell me more.” Lexa pushes the last three words out. She doesn’t want to hear more, but she will withstand it. She has to.

“There was only one thing that bugged me a little.” Luna says simply.

“What is it?” Lexa asks, baffled. There’s nothing wrong with Clarke Griffin. What could have bugged Luna?

“Well she said she wanted to go to homecoming with someone else before I asked her.” Luna says worriedly. “I thought maybe she wasn’t single or maybe she liked someone.”

“What else did she say?” Lexa asks desperately. She can’t believe Clarke mentioned her to Luna. Maybe she still has a chance after all. A little seed of hope blooms in her chest.

“She said it’s complicated but it’s over. So I guess that means she’s on the market.” Luna says simply, not realizing how her words crush her best friend.

“Oh.” Lexa mumbles, heartbroken. “I guess that’s good for you then.” Lexa puts a smile on her face even though she’s breaking inside.

“Yeah. I really like her Lex.” Luna gushes and Lexa nods. Why couldn’t she have been stronger? Why couldn’t she have stood up to her father’s expectations for once? To the popular kids expectations? Her father says love is weakness but maybe believing him is what has made her weak. How can she fix this? Is it too late?

///

It’s the day before homecoming. Luna has been joining Clarke and Raven for lunch for the past few days. The popular kids scoff and roll their eyes but don’t do much else. Lexa sits afar and watches as the girl she loves laughs at something her best says. Her blue eyes light up with joy and it kills her that she’s not the one making Clarke laugh. 

After her soccer practice, Lexa decides she needs to talk to Clarke. She needs to clear the air. Lexa goes to Clarke’s house and knocks on the front door. She hears some shuffling before Clarke opens the door. The blonde is in a tank top and baggy sweats. She must have decided to hop in some comfy clothes after school.

Clarke’s smile is immediately wiped off her face and it hurts Lexa that she’s the one who did this to her.

“Hey Clarke.” Lexa smiles softly, her nervousness evident in her eyes.

“Why are you here?” Clarke spits out and Lexa bites her lip sadly. She’s the one who created this distance between them, this hatred.

“I just..I wanted to apologize. I don’t know why I said those horrible things. I was jea-”

“Clarke? Who’s at the door?” Lexa’s apology is cut off by another female voice. It startles Lexa and her omega is irrationally jealous that someone else is in the alpha’s house.

“Don’t worry about it, Raven. Just go back to watching TV.” Clarke shouts out and Lexa visibly relaxes. It’s just the girl’s best friend. 

“Come on, who is it? Is it Luna?” Raven’s voice is getting closer and closer. Lexa’s eyes grow sad when Raven mentions Luna. As soon as Raven reaches the door, her smile is wiped clean off her face as well. It seems Lexa has that effect on people lately.

“Are you fucking serious?” Raven spits out and Lexa’s eyes widen.

“Raven, stop.” Clarke gently warns.

“No Clarke. This girl used you and now she has the balls to show her face again? No way.” Raven asserts angrily.

“I know. I messed up and I came here to own up to my mistakes and make it up to Clarke.” Lexa says shakily.

Raven is about to yell at Lexa again when Clarke cuts her off.

“I got this Rae. I’ll be back in a bit.” Clarke says softly before turning to Lexa with hard eyes. “Follow me to the bedroom.”

Lexa nods and follows. As soon as Clarke closes the door, Lexa starts to speak.

“Clarke, I’m so sorry. I treated you terribly. There are no words for what I’ve done and what I’ve said. It wasn’t all a lie though. I did..no I do have feelings for you and I just didn’t know how to-”

“Don’t do that Lexa!” Clarke shouts out and Lexa flinches. She’s never heard Clarke raise her voice.

“Clarke..” Lexa says sadly.

“You have no right to come in here and say you have feelings for me! Not after I made a fool out of myself time and time again. All I wanted was for you to acknowledge me in public. I wasn’t asking for you to tell the world that we were sleeping together. I just wanted you to treat me with respect. But you couldn’t even manage that! And then you tried to convince Luna that I was some freak. You’re just as bad as the rest of them.” Clarke is furious and she just can’t hold it in any longer.

“I know! I was horrible. Horrible isn’t even the word for it. I was cruel. I hate myself for what I did to you, Clarke. And I don’t know how to fix this. God, I really want to fix this. Just please, tell me what I can do.” Lexa takes a step closer, caressing Clarke’s cheek. Clarke shuts her eyes at the contact and for a second, it looks as if Clarke might forgive her. But then Clarke’s gently grabs Lexa’s wrists and moves Lexa away from her.

“It’s too late.” Clarke mumbles sadly, wiping away her tears.

“Clarke, please don’t say that.” Lexa hiccups while sniffling away her own tears.

“Please leave, Lexa.” Clarke states firmly, her eyes never leaving the wall. If she looks at Lexa, she knows she will break. Lexa nods, knowing there’s no way to get Clarke’s forgiveness right now. She’ll have to fight for it.

“I’m so sorry.” And with that Lexa is out the door. Lexa hurries past Raven and out the door. Raven hurries outside and stops her.

“Hey! Not so fast.” Raven calls out and Lexa turns around.

“Look Raven, I know I fucked up.” Lexa hiccups softly.

“I don’t think you realize how much you fucked up, Lexa.” Raven states simply. “Clarke has been in love with you since the first day of freshman year when she saw you walk into our math class.”

Lexa’s eyes widen and her heart starts beating. What? She never knew that. Clarke...loved her? Does she still?

“I bet you didn’t even notice her.” Raven says knowingly and Lexa hangs her head down in shame. “Yeah that’s what I thought.” Raven says smugly. “And then you pay attention to her coincidentally right after she transitioned to alpha. You sleep with her. You were her first everything might I add. Then when she asks you out, you break her heart by saying some bullshit copout about how this has to be a secret. That broke her, Lexa. She didn’t even tell me about it until after the first day of school when you ignored her in public and then slept together again. She tells me everything. It took her so long to admit to me. Want to know why? Because she felt like complete and utter shit.”

Lexa cries harder and harder with each sentence.

“She really loves you and you refuse to even look her in the eye in school. Now I don’t know what your problem is but if you were just using her, leave her the fuck alone. If you do have feelings for her, then woman up and face what you’ve done. Don’t make her feel like a secret. That’s the worst thing you could ever do to someone. Figure out your shit and cherish in her private AND in public. You give her the goddamn world and if you can’t do that, then you leave her alone. Let someone else like your friend Luna love Clarke the way she deserves to be loved. Not in a dark utility closet. She’s special Lexa and if you can’t see that, then let her go. Stop torturing her. And if you don’t stop with this little game, I’ll be around to make sure you do.” Raven says firmly.

“I love her..” Lexa mumbles out between tears.

“If that’s true, how could you treat someone you love like this? Figure your shit out, Lexa.” Raven shakes her head and walks back inside.

Lexa hurries to her car and cries. She can’t play the pity card no longer. She needs to deal with her demons head on and fight for the girl she loves. She has to fight for Clarke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated!


	5. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming is here!

Luna drives up to Clarke’s house happily. Clarke steps out in a gorgeous dress, sparkling blue to match her eyes. Luna swoons. Her heart beats fast. Clarke is beautiful.

They get to homecoming and everyone stares at them. Clarke is a strong alpha. Her scent is intimidating to the others alphas and addicting to the omegas. Everyone stands there jaw slacked.

The dance is sweet. Clarke dances with Luna the whole night. When their hands touch, their skins buzz. Luna lays her shoulder on Clarke’s shoulder and Clarke smiles softly. Luna is so loving. She wishes Lexa was like this. But Lexa wasn’t and now she has to move on. She knows that. But sometimes it’s hard to do so.

“Where's Lexa?” Clarke blurts out. She hasn't seen her the whole dance. Luna looks surprised at the question.

“She decided not to come. Something about her heat coming early.” Luna says casually. 

“Oh.” Clarke swallows heavy. “Is Ontari with her?” Clarke can’t help her jealousy consume her. Is Ontari helping Lexa through her heat right now? Touching her, kissing her. It’s driving Clarke mad. 

Luna chuckles. “Oh no. Ontari wouldn’t miss homecoming if her life depended on it. She went with Roan Azgeda instead.” Luna casually says.

“Oh.” Clarke mumbles.

“Yeah. Lexa always has someone help her through her heat. I mean, everyone is in love with her.” Luna mentions with no bitterness in her voice. Clarke just hums softly. She knows the feeling of being in love with Lexa Woods _very_ well.

“But she decided to go through this one alone for some reason.” Luna mumbles and Clarke tenses. Why would Lexa go through her heat alone? Unless…

“Why?” Clarke asks before she can even stop herself.

“She was seeing someone. I’m not really sure who. Lexa is kind of private about these kind of things, but she mentioned that she really liked this girl. I think she’s an alpha.” Luna says and Clarke’s eyes widen. Could Lexa be talking about her? There’s no way. “But I think it’s over. Lexa has been really on edge lately.”

“Oh that’s unfortunate.” Clarke says softly.

“Yeah. I really that this would be the girl that helped Lexa break away from the bullshit her father forced her to believe.” Luna mumbles sadly.

“What happened with her father?” Clarke asks curiously, maybe even a little desperately. Luna looks a little apprehensive to speak.

“That’s another story.” Luna sadly chuckles. “Do you want some punch?” Luna changes the topic and Clarke knows that the story is off limits. She can’t help but wonder about Lexa Woods.

Luna and her chat for a little before Clarke asks her to dance again. Luna is sweet and kind and beautiful. She wants to be with Clarke in public. She doesn’t believe Clarke is lesser than her based on her popularity in high school. She likes Clarke for who she is.

Clarke pulls Luna in closer and their dancing is suddenly more sensual. Luna smiles warmly as butterflies erupt in her stomach. Luna rests her head on Clarke’s shoulder, inhaling the alpha’s delicious scent. Clarke closes her eyes and smiles. This is really nice. The two girls dance the night away, wrapped up in their own world.

Homecoming ends and Clarke invites Luna back to her place to watch some movies. There is some wild homecoming party that everyone is going to but Luna isn’t much of a partier and neither is Clarke. 

They get to Clarke’s house and Jake is of course not home because when is he ever? Luna gets settled into the couch as Clarke makes some popcorn and pours two glasses of lemonade. When Clarke sits back down next to Luna, the omega hits play on some random romcom. Luna bravely holds Clarke’s hand and the alpha smiles. Both feel butterflies.

Sometime during the movie, Luna’s falls asleep with her head resting on Clarke’s shoulder. The blonde smiles softly at the curly haired girl. Luna is sweet and adorable. Luna wakes up about an hour later with a tiny yawn and Clarke swoons. She’s so cute. Clarke wonders if it’s possible to have feelings for two people at the same time.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” Luna mumbles, her cheeks heating up in embarrassment. Clarke chuckles and tucks a stray piece of Luna’s untamed curls behind her ear.

“It’s okay. You’re adorable when you sleep.” Clarke says sweetly and Luna bites her lip. Luna’s eyes drop to Clarke’s lips. Her lips are so pink and kissable, Luna thinks.

“Can I kiss you?” Luna whispers softly and all the air leaves from Clarke’s body. 

“Yes.” The words come out of her mouth before she even realizes what she’s saying. Luna leans up and Clarke leans down slightly.

Luna’s lips are gentle and hesitant as if Clarke might pull away at any second. It’s sweet and soft. It’s different from Lexa’s kisses. Lexa’s kisses seemed like they were always trying to prove something, like she was on a mission. Lexa’s kisses were more passionate. They were overpowering, all consuming.

Luna sighs into the kiss and wraps her arms around the blonde, wordlessly encouraging Clarke to climb on top of her. Clarke takes the hint and moves her position so that she’s on top of the brunette. It doesn’t feel bad. She doesn’t feel guilty like she thought she might. She doesn’t owe Lexa anything. But maybe she owes something to Luna. Maybe she shouldn’t rush this. She should really wait until she’s ready. 

They kiss languidly for a few more minutes, no grinding and little tongue. It’s all very innocent. Clarke pecks Luna’s lips chastely one last time before sitting up and looking at the ground.

“Did we go too far?” Luna asks understandingly.

“I just..” Clarke sighs out, not sure how to say this. “I was with someone else before you and she really broke my heart.” Clarke mumbles sadly. Luna sits up next to the blonde and rubs up and down Clarke’s back encouragingly. 

“We um..well we rushed into the physical aspect too quickly and I fell hard for someone who probably just wanted sex from me.” Clarke doesn’t know why she’s telling Luna all of this, but she feels like she has to. A fresh honest start. “I don’t want to rush into that kind of stuff this time around. Is that okay?” Clarke asks nervously and Luna smiles softly.

“Thank you for telling me all of that.” Luna says gently. “I can wait until you’re ready for “that kind of stuff” until you’re ready. I mean..I’m a virgin so it’s not like I even know what I’m missing.” Luna jokes and Clarke nods, slightly shocked that Luna never had sex with Octavia.

“We can take this slow then?” Clarke asks softly. Luna gently takes hold of Clarke’s hand and squeezes it.

“We can take this slow.”

///

Lexa goes into school next Wednesday after her heat ended, tired and sad. Her heat was hard, harder than she’s ever had to deal with. She usually has an omega or beta to help her through her. She’s never been with an alpha during her heats since the risk of knotting, mating, and pregnancy are much too high. 

Alphas usually go into rut when they’re around their omega in heat and mating is a very realistic thing to occur because of this. Lexa never wanted to risk it. But all through her heat all, all she could imagine was Clarke filling her up and knotting her. Clarke taking her on every free space in her house, in their school, anywhere she can think of really. She wanted Clarke’s teeth to pierce her skin, marking her body as the alpha’s forever. Lexa’s wolf cried out for Clarke, but Clarke never came. 

Lexa walks into school and sees Luna and Clarke laughing in the halls. The bell rings and Luna leans in to softly kiss Clarke goodbye. Lexa’s heart completely stops. Luna just kissed Clarke. That means something _did_ happen at homecoming. Lexa really has lost Clarke..and to her best friend no less.

Luna walks over to her and smiles bright.

“Lexa, how was your heat?” Luna asks softly as they walk through the halls. Lexa can’t help it. She’s pale and sweaty. Her whole world was just turned upside down.

“Did you just kiss Clarke?” Lexa blurts out, ignoring Luna’s question completely. Luna looks a little taken aback but answers all the more.

“Yeah..” Luna draws out her answers. “We’re dating now. I was going to tell you but I didn’t want to bother you when you were in heat.” 

Lexa’s heart starts beating fast. This can’t be happening. They aren’t just hooking up. They’re dating. Girlfriends. Lexa feels like she’s going to throw up. The girl she’s in love with is dating the best friend she loves more than anyone else. She can’t breathe.

“Lexa, it was the sweetest of nights. She opened up to me and I feel like we connected so much.” Luna gushes. “We kissed for a few minutes before she stopped. She told me she wanted to take things slow because she has had her heartbroken before.” Luna says and Lexa’s head whips to her.

“She said that? She said she was heartbroken?” Lexa asks desperately.

“Yeah.. she said they rushed into sex and the girl was just using her. What a bitch.” Luna shakes her head angrily. 

“Excuse me.” Lexa mumbles out, ignoring Luna’s confused calling after her.

///

_Meet me in the utility closet right now please. I really need to talk._

Lexa texts Clarke, anxiously waiting for an answer. Clarke says ok and soon enough, Lexa is scurrying to the utility closet to chat.

“What is it?” Clarke asks, annoyed.

“You’re with Luna..” Lexa says defeatedly. Clarke looks away from Lexa. For some reason, she can’t make eye contact with the green eyed pools she loves so much. 

“Yeah..it happened at homecoming.” Clarke rubs her neck nervously. Lexa nods, trying to keep her tears at bay.

“I couldn’t wait for you forever, Lex. You treated me like shit. I just..I couldn’t do it anymore.” Clarke mumbles sadly.

“You’re not using my best friend to get back at me, are you?” Lexa’s voice is sad and tired. Clarke looks horrified at the question.

“Of course not. I..” Clarke’s voice is fragile. “I like her.” The “but I _love_ you” remains unsaid. Lexa nods, sniffling back her tears. Both girls look at the ground for a few minutes, but to them it feels like centuries.

“And you’re happy?” Lexa asks softly. 

“Yeah..I am.” Clarke says truthfully, her voice just above a whisper.

“And you’ll treat her right?” Lexa asks again, her heart breaking. She has to let Clarke go. It just might kill her to do so but she has to. 

“Of course..” Clarke mumbles and Lexa nods. 

“I really do love you.” Lexa says clear as day after a long stretch of silence. Clarke whips her head up, both their eyes watery. Clarke doesn’t say anything, too shocked and deeply saddened. She knows it's over between them but it was easier before when she just thought Lexa was using her. Oddly enough, knowing Lexa loves her makes this all so much harder.

Clarke holds back her tears somehow and so does Lexa. When they look back on it, they have no clue how they managed to make sure their tears didn’t spill.

“I’ll see you around, Clarke. I really hope she makes you happy.” Lexa sadly mumbles and leaves. Lexa gets to her car before she breaks down. She knows she did the right thing by her best friend and her love. Maybe Luna can give Clarke what she never could, what her father beat out of her. Love and acceptance.

“Love is weakness.” Lexa mumbles under her breath as she wipes her tears away. Clarke Griffin was the one for her. Nobody else will compare.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lexa realizes that Clarke and Luna are both happy and decides not to mess with it. She realizes she lost her chance with the one she loves and can't ruin this for either of them. They are the most important people in her life. It's a big step for Lexa, a really hard step for anyone really. 
> 
> Next chapter will have a time jump!!!
> 
> Okay so I've read the comments. I love the passion in there!! I have to say though that this is clexa endgame. I'm truly sorry if that upsets the Luna/Clarke shippers. But good news for the Luna/Clarke shippers, their relationship will be explored a bit in the next few chapters. What do you think is gonna happen next? Tell me your guesses. I'd love to hear.


	6. It Was You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 Month Time Jump!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So just a warning, there's a smut scene with Clarke/Luna here.

_5 Months Later_

“That feels really good.” Luna says as Clarke grinds into her. They’ve been dating for five months now. Clarke takes Luna out on dates every Friday. On Saturdays, Clarke spends the day with Raven and Luna. Raven and Luna get along great and Clarke is happy that her best friend and girlfriend can be such good friends themselves.

Clarke kisses down the column of Luna’s throat. Her hands are massaging Luna’s ample breasts. Luna slept over last night like she does whenever Clarke’s father stays at his girlfriend Indra’s. Jake is never really around anymore between his job and his new girlfriend. 

Clarke and Luna haven’t had sex yet. The farthest they’ve gone is making out in their bras and pants. But this Sunday morning, things are getting slightly heated. Luna is wearing flannel pajama pants and one of Clarke’s loose t shirts to bed. Clarke’s hands bravely went under her top. The alpha is pleased to figure out that Luna isn’t wearing a bra.

Clarke can feel Luna’s nipples harden under her touch. The alpha growls slightly and it turns Luna into a puddle of wetness. Clarke’s pheromones are more aroused than she’s ever smelt them before. Maybe this is it. Maybe they are going to take the next step in their relationship.

Luna doesn’t mind being patient with Clarke. She’s in no hurry to have sex, but she’s also not really waiting for anything. Octavia didn’t want to have sex and Luna would never have dreamed of pressuring her. And same goes for Clarke. She doesn’t mind waiting. 

Clarke has shared with her some more details about the girl she was with before. All Luna knows is that the girl is an omega and that’s she goes to their school. Clarke said that she doesn’t want to say who it is, not because she doesn’t trust Luna but because she respects the other girl’s decision to keep them a secret. Luna would be lying if she said she wasn’t curious but she respects Clarke immensely for keeping her word to this omega girl even after she broke her heart.

Luna can tell Clarke is still nursing a heartbreak but she can also tell that Clarke’s feelings for her are real. Luna might be a little jealous but she knows that Clarke would never be unfaithful to her. 

“Luna..” Clarke moans into the omega’s mouth while pinching and rubbing Luna’s nipples.

“Oh..oh wow.” Luna gasps out, feeling wildly turned on. More turned on then she’s ever been in her whole life. She can feel Clarke’s erection through her pajamas pants. Clarke is on top of her, grinding her bulge lightly on Luna’s core. Luna really wants to ask for more but she will leave it in Clarke’s hand. She won’t ask Clarke to do anything she’s uncomfortable with.

“I really want to see more of you.” Clarke mumbles against her lips and Luna’s heart starts thudding loudly in her chest. “Would that be okay?” Clarke says gently, pausing to look in Luna’s eyes. She gently caresses her cheek and Luna blushes. 

“Yes. Can I see more of you too?” Luna asks nervously but really excited. She’s only ever made out with Octavia with clothes on, occasionally tops off but still bras. This will be farther than she’s ever gone. That thought turns her on even more.

Clarke nods, sitting up slightly as she pulls her own sleep shirt off. Luna’s eyes widen comically as she sees Clarke’s breasts for the first time. Clarke blushes, diving in to kiss her curly haired girlfriend. Clarke lifts up Luna’s shirt and growls lightly when she sees Luna’s bare beautiful breasts. 

Clarke’s eyes turn from blue to red, showing how turned on she is. Luna beams. It’s the first time Clarke’s eyes has turned red with her. That means that Clarke is letting her wolf take over. There’s an immense amount of trust and respect needed for someone to allow their wolf to take over. 

Little does Luna know, Clarke’s eyes always glowed red with Lexa. And Lexa’s eyes always glowed purple with Clarke. And little does Clarke know, Lexa has never let her eyes glow with anyone but the blonde blue eyed omega.

“Clarke!” Luna moans out as Clarke’s wet mouth envelops one of her breasts, circling Luna’s nipple. Luna is so turned on she feels like she’s going to explode.

Clarke and Luna’s hands are exploring the new expanse of skin. This feels so good. Clarke just wants to make Luna feel good.

“Clarke, please…” Luna whimpers out, her hips jerking for more contact. Her body feels like it’s on fire.

“Lun..I wanna make you feel good.” Clarke groans out against Luna’s sweaty skin. Luna moans loud at her girlfriend’s words. “Can I touch you?” Clarke asks sweetly, a little nervous.

“Please..” Luna moans out, surrounded in a cloud of aroused pheromones..her own and Clarke’s.

“I’ve got you.” Clarke whispers out before sliding her hand in Luna’s pants. “This okay?” Clarke asks quietly and Luna nods, mumbling out a yes. Luna’s pants come off then her underwear. They kiss heatedly for quite some time.

Clarke’s hands shakily make their way to Luna’s soaked core. Clarke gently explores Luna’s folds, rubbing and touching her. Luna has never felt anything like this. It feels amazing.

“Oh my god..oh god! Clarke...baby..god yes.” Luna whimpers and squirms. “I need more, baby.” Luna begs and pleads. Clarke bites her lip sexily. 

“I’m going to push in now okay?” Clarke asks tenderly. Luna nods furiously.

“Please do it..” Luna moans out, her nails scratching down Clarke’s back. Clarke pushes one finger inside her girlfriend and starts a steady pace. Luna moans and begs and whimpers for more until she falls apart of her girlfriend’s fingers. 

Clarke gently kisses Luna’s chest until Luna comes back down from her orgasm. 

“Wow.” Luna says with awe and Clarke smiles. “That was…” Luna pauses. “Wow.”

Clarke chuckles and kisses Luna’s jaw. Luna turns her head slightly and kisses Clarke sweetly. 

“I don’t want to pressure you but I want to make you feel good too..if you’re ready for that of course.” Luna says softly. Clarke bites her lip in thought. Clarke has developed strong feelings for Luna. She really cares for her. Lexa has avoided them. Luna introduced them briefly once or twice but Lexa would always scurry away. Not seeing Lexa has made her relationship with Luna a lot easier. Deep down though, Clarke misses Lexa dearly and truly.

“Okay.” Clarke says softly and Luna smiles wide. 

“You’re sure?” Luna says excitedly.

“Yes. If you want to.” Clarke mumbles against her lips. Luna’s hand goes down to Clarke’s boxers and cups Clarke through the fabric. Clarke softly growls once the omega touches her.

At that exact moment, Raven barges through the door. 

“Hey guys, I was just wondering if - holy shit! Sorry!” Raven stands there with her jaw slacked, unmoving. Clarke goes to cover up Luna’s chest with her own.

“It’s okay Rae. Do you mind turning around so we can get dressed?” Clarke says softly. Raven dumbly nods.

“Shit yeah! Sorry!” Raven turns around, her cheeks beet red. Her body feels hot and she doesn’t know why. 

“Don’t worry about it Raven.” Luna chuckles and shakes her head.

“I’m just going to go downstairs and wait for you guys.” Raven mumbles before running out the door. “Finish if you um want. I’ll just um..yeah.” Raven calls out as she embarrassingly runs down the stairs.

Clarke and Luna looks at eachother and start chuckling. Clarke kisses Luna soundly, her erection didn’t falter when Raven interrupted them surprisingly. “Well that was..interesting.” Luna giggles. Clarke hums, kissing her girlfriend’s neck. 

“Yeah..” Clarke chuckles. “We should probably get dressed and join Raven downstairs though before she has an aneurysm.

///

Lexa is practicing her kicks when Luna comes up from behind her.

“Hey Lex!” Luna calls out.

“Hey Lun.” Lexa softly smiles. She misses her best friend but it pains her to see Luna with the girl she loves so deeply, her only love. It’s been torture to watch Luna kiss Clarke. It’s been torture to hear about how amazing and affectionate Clarke is. And it’s torture to hear about the intimate moments between Clarke and Luna that only a best friend is told.

“You’ll never believed what happened this weekend!” Luna gushes out. Lexa has to bite her lip from bleeding. She knows that Luna and Clarke haven’t had sex yet. It’s the one thing that has been keeping her sane. 

“What?” Lexa forces the words out, afraid what Luna is going to tell her.

“Well I slept over Clarke’s on Saturday night and in the morning, we woke up and we were making out a bit. Nothing out of the usual but then it got really heated.” Luna says excitedly, not realize that her words are ripping her friend’s heart to shreds. “Anyways, she told me she wanted to make me feel good and that she was ready for more.”

Lexa clears her throat, begging for this torture to end. She can’t stand this. She can already feel the tears begging to be released. 

“She fingered me. It was fucking amazing, Lex. Now I understand what the whole fuss is about.” Luna says happily. “Oh and she showed me her eyes! Finally! They’re red. She’s such a strong alpha. I just.. I couldn’t be luckier.” Luna gushes.

Lexa can’t do this anymore. She can’t. She knows she asked Clarke not to tell Luna about them but now she’s thinking that it might have been a mistake. Luna comes to her, like any best friend would, to talk about all things Clarke and it kills her. And now it’s killing her that Clarke showed Luna her eyes. That’s such a huge step in a relationship. Maybe Clarke really has moved on.

“I KNOW! OKAY?! I KNOW!” Lexa screams out loud. The whole soccer field grows silent. 

“I..Lex..what’s wrong?” Luna asks confused.

“Fuck..nothing Luna. I gotta go.” Lexa bolts. Luna chases after her but isn’t quick enough. Lexa gets in her car and drives off. Luna decides to follow her friend, curious to see where she’s going.

///

Lexa knocks on Clarke’s door excessively and frantically. She has avoided Clarke for so long but now she desperately needs to see her. She can’t live this lie anymore.

“Lexa? Are you okay?” Clarke worriedly asks. Her anger at Lexa has slowly diminished over the months. Sometimes Clarke catches Lexa looking at her and Luna with such sad heartbroken eyes. Clarke’s heart always pangs in her chest. Maybe Lexa wasn’t lying. Maybe she did really care. It doesn’t matter anymore though because Lexa really treated her horribly and Clarke is with Luna now. So whatever they had is over. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t still care about Lexa. If Clarke’s being honest (which she’s not because she’s in utter denial), she will always care about Lexa.

“No! I can’t do this anymore Clarke!” Lexa shouts out and Clarke looks at her confused. It’s downpouring rain and Lexa is soaked. She doesn’t seem to care right now though.

“Do what? Lex, come inside.” Clarke says softly. “Sit down.” Clarke instructs gently. Lexa sits on the couch numbly. Clarke hurries in a few moments later with a towel. She wipes Lexa’s face quietly and Lexa’s omega glows at the attention.

“I got it. Thank you.” Lexa quietly whispers. Clarke nods and hands Lexa the towel to wipe the rest of herself.

“What’s wrong Lex?” Clarke asks slowly. Lexa shuts her eyes. She misses when Clarke would call her ‘Lex.’ Clarke never calls her ‘Lex’ in public. Hell, Clarke doesn’t even really look at her in public but she supposes that’s her fault.

“I want to tell Luna about us.” Lexa mumbles, worried of Clarke’s reaction.

“Okay.” Clarke simply says. Lexa whips her head up to look at Clarke’s gaze to see if she’s being honest. “Look Lex, I would have told Luna before but I knew you were ashamed of us..well of me. I knew you didn’t want to tell anyone so I respected your choice. Luna knows that I was with someone before her and she knows it's someone she knows, but she never pushed. She gets it.”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa says sincerely. “I’m ruining your relationship.”

“No you’re not. It’s okay. Luna will understand.” Clarke says softly. 

“Clarke, I..wasn’t ashamed of you.” Lexa says fiercely. “I need you to get that.”

“Yeah..you kinda were Lexa.” Clarke shrugs and Lexa bites her lip. “Let’s not try and rewrite history. What’s done is done.”

“It wasn’t about you Clarke. It wasn’t about your popularity. It was more about me than anything else. My father..he’s a strict man. I was raised in a certain way..I just..it’s complicated.” Lexa sighs out. Clarke moves closer to her, putting her hand over Lexa’s. Lexa’s skin jolts alive at the contact.

“You can talk to me if you’d like.” Clarke speaks tenderly. Lexa nods and shuts her eyes. Clarke deserves the whole story. She’s been dying to explain to Clarke why she’s like this. It’s not an excuse for how horribly she treated Clarke. It’s just the truth.

“My biological father was a beta named Marcus. He died when my mom was still pregnant with me. Hit and run. He was getting some milk for my mom’s morning cereal. My mom says he was a really nice guy, very loving. They were together for about 5 months when she got pregnant with me. They loved each other though. They exchanged mating marks three months into dating. That’s how serious they were.” Lexa explains shakily. She’s never told this story to anyone, not even Luna. Luna just grew up with her so she knew it by default. This was the first time ever that she actually opened up and talked about it.

Clarke’s eyes widen. Mating marks are sacred. They can be undone but only at a great price. That’s why people usually wait a long time to get them done. The fact that Lexa’s parents didn’t is a big deal.

“My mom was poor. She worked at a coffee shop and Marcus was interning for the mayor’s office. They were only 22 when my mom got pregnant. My mom cried and broke down for weeks. She didn’t know what to do without her mate. Someone called from Marcus’ job and told my mom his last check was ready for pick up about a month later. She went to get it and that’s where she ran into the mayor..Titus Woods. Titus instantly fell for my mom. He tried courting her for months but my mom wouldn’t budge. He said he would take care of her and me. He said he would even adopt me. That’s why I’m a Woods and not a Kane.” Lexa mumbles softly. Clarke holds Lexa’s hands tight. It’s the only thing that is giving Lexa strength to get through this story. 

“They got married when I was 6 months old and Titus is the only father I’ve known. I have two little half brothers, Marcus Jr. and Aden. Titus always taught me that ‘love is weakness.’ The truth is that Titus is not the family man that everyone thinks him to be. He is abusive to my mother. He claims that omegas are scum but I might actually be redeemable. I listen to what he tells me to do to protect my brothers and my mother. If I win my soccer games and are featured in the paper, he gets good press. He’s governor now you know and he really wants to preserve that picture of the family man. Appearance means everything to him. I just..I can’t deviate off course. And dating you...god Clarke, that wouldn’t fit in Titus’ plan for me at all. He wants me to be captain of the soccer team and finish school with high honors so I can go to his Ivy League alma mater where I’d study law and become a lawyer. I’ll take over his family’s practice and maybe dabble in politics. He even has a alpha he wants me to marry one day. It’s what he wants and it’s what he’ll get if it means that I can protect my family.” Lexa finishes her speech and Clarke’s jaw is on the floor. 

The alpha’s eyes are red but not from arousal, from anger. There’s only two reasons an alpha’s eyes would be red..and that’s arousal and rage. Clarke is enraged at the fact that Titus is like this, that Lexa and her family have to live like this. Clarke is subconsciously pumping out angry pheromones. Clarke growls loud and Lexa whimpers.

“I’m sorry! I’m just so angry. He can’t do this to you! To your family! I won’t allow it.” Clarke shakes her head angrily. 

“Clarke, please you have to let it be. You’re just a teenager. You can’t do anything.” Lexa pleads for Clarke to calm down. When Clarke sees the desperation in her eyes, she calms down and her eyes return to normal. “Thank you.” Lexa mumbles out in relief.

“Lex, if you told me before...I would have understood. I thought...god I thought-”

“I know what you thought, Clarke.” Lexa sadly smiles. “It’s okay. My actions are still my own. I didn’t have to treat you the way I did. That was all me. It wasn’t just about Titus, Clarke.” Lexa lip is trembling.

“What else was it about then?” Clarke asks shakily as if she’s afraid of the answer.

“I fell in love with you and it terrifies me. I have never felt the way I do about you.” Lexa says sadly. Clarke realizes that Lexa isn’t speaking in past tense.

“Lexa, I…” Clarke shakes her head. She can’t go down this road. “I’m with Luna now. I can’t..I’m with Luna now.” Clarke says and Lexa smiles sadly. 

“I know.” Lexa whispers. “I think you should tell her about me though. I can’t listen to the details of you two together any longer. It kills me everytime and Luna doesn’t even realize how it’s torturing me. I’ve been lying to my best friend. I thought it would be better for her if she didn’t know but now I realize it’s not. You guys deserve the best chance out there. I can’t stand in the way of both of your happiness.” Lexa speaks softly and it breaks both of their hearts.

“You still mean a lot to me, Lex. It’s just..it can’t be in that way anymore.” Clarke says regretfully. 

“I don’t think I’m ready to be your friend yet, Clarke. But maybe someday.” Lexa smiles sadly.

“Maybe someday.” Clarke returns back the sentiment. They look at each other sadly, but it feels like a weight has been lifted off both their shoulders. Then there’s a knock at the door. 

Clarke’s brows furrow as she doesn’t know what that could be. She opens the door and it’s Luna. Luna followed Lexa’s car and saw her best friend bang on her girlfriend’s door. That’s when it clicked for Luna.

Lexa was with an alpha from their school in secret months ago, right because Homecoming. And Clarke always talks about the omega from their school that broke her heart. How could she have not seen this sooner? Luna waits in her car for quite some time, trying to figure out if she should knock on the door and see what’s going on. She knows Clarke isn’t cheating on her, that’s for sure. Clarke would never do that and neither would Lexa. Finally, when she couldn’t take it anymore she went and knocked on the door..nervous to what would happen next.

Luna looks between her girlfriend and best friend, both who are wide eyed.

“It was you.” Luna breathes out, shocked while staring at Lexa. “You slept with Clarke.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a few more time jumps. Clexa will be back eventually. Let's work on them being friends first. Don't forget that nobody's perfect.
> 
> Quick question : I'm thinking of adding a threesome between three of the characters. I don't want to spoil who but you might be able to guess. It won't be permanent or anything. Just a one time thing. How do readers feel about that? Let me know.
> 
> Sorry to those who didn't want Luna and Clarke to engage in sexual activity. I kind of had this planned out for a while and can't change the route. Gotta stay true to my vision as a writer yanno.


	7. I'm Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath of Luna finding out about Lexa and Clarke!

“Luna..” Clarke says slowly.

“Yes. I slept with Clarke.” Lexa cuts her off and Clarke turns around to stare at Lexa with an unrecognizable look on her face. Lexa swallows deeply but there isn’t a look of guilt on her face, more like sad resignation. Lexa is unable to meet either of their gazes.

Luna closes her eyes and shakes her head. “This can’t be happening.” Luna mumbles under her breath.

“Baby listen, I would have told you but-” Clarke tries again but Luna cuts her off.

“I know why you didn’t tell me Clarke. You were just respecting Lexa’s wishes but you..Lexa, how could you not tell me?” Luna asks tiredly. Lexa finally meets her best friend’s gaze and finds disappointment and sadness in her honey brown eyes. “All the times I gushed about Clarke and you acted like you hated her. God, was this all just some sick joke to you?”

“No.” Lexa rises from the couch, her voice suddenly firm and serious. “This wasn’t a joke. It...it wasn’t like that with Clarke.”

“Really? Because Clarke said she felt used, thrown away. That whole fucking time you were sleeping with her! I remember you were so head over heels for some mysterious alpha you wouldn’t name. You wouldn’t tell me who it was but I remember you were different during that time. You were lighter. And now to find out it was my girlfriend. Oh god, I can’t do this..” Luna shakes her head and hurries out of the house.

“Luna wait!” Clarke runs out after her. “Luna please don’t leave. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I should have but Lexa didn’t want anyone to know. I know that’s a shit reason. I know you deserved to know. I know you deserve better than any of this. You deserve the world. I’m so sorry.” Clarke speaks sincerely, cupping Luna’s cheeks and pulling their faces together so that their foreheads are pressed up against one another. Luna is crying and Clarke wipes the few tears away with the pads of her thumbs.

Lexa looks on tearfully, holding back her own cries. It hurts so much to watch her love and her best friend in such an intimate embrace. But she’s also hurting because she hurt the two people she loves most in this world...again.

“I...Clarke, I just feel so blindsided and betrayed.” Luna hiccups. “You were with Lexa, my best friend. God, you kissed her and touched her and I can’t stop imagining it.” Luna says sadly, trying to pull away from Clarke’s embrace.

“Wait please..I love you.” Clarke doesn’t even realize the words have fallen out of her mouth until they do. Luna gasps and so does Lexa.

“Clarke…” Luna says in shock. They haven’t said ‘I love yous’ yet. Luna has felt it for quite some time now but she didn’t want to spook Clarke and say it too early.

“I do. I’m so sorry we didn’t tell you. I just..it felt wrong to go against Lexa’s wishes to keep us a secret. All she ever wanted was for us to be a secret and I..” Clarke looks back at Lexa apologetically. “I felt ashamed, like our time together was wrong. I felt really insecure about that time and I didn’t want to ruin what me and you had..hopefully still have. And while we are on the subject, I was wrong..about Lexa. I didn’t know the whole story..I probably still don’t know the whole story. But I know more now and she wasn’t using me like I thought. What we had was much more complex than that. But it _is_ over. Baby, I’m with you. I only want you.” Clarke says with teary eyes. Luna hiccups softly looking between Lexa and Clarke.

“And what do you have to say?” Luna asks Lexa gently. Lexa clears her throat and wipes her eyes. Lexa quietly gathers her thoughts and what she wants to say. Her mind is ringing still from Clarke love admission to Luna. It hurts and her omega is whimpering and sobbing out. But she has to act refined. Head over heart. 

“I am so sorry for how I treated Clarke. I hurt her and I will never forgive myself for that. And now I’ve hurt you too. I am so sorry for all of this.” Lexa chuckles bitterly, wiping her tears away. “I don’t want to lose you as a friend, Luna. You are like a sister to me. And you and Clarke deserve so much happiness...together.” Lexa smiles sadly. 

“Do you have feelings for Clarke? Because I can’t...I can’t be stuck in a love triangle with my best friend. I just can’t.” Luna says emotionally. Clarke looks at Lexa and Lexa can see the desperation in Clarke’s eyes. Lexa swallows deeply, knowing she will have to lie about her love for Clarke.

“No.” Lexa lies convincingly. The words immediately taste bitter leaving her mouth. “I wasn’t using Clarke back then. I did feel something for her..but those feelings are long gone, I promise you. I don’t want to get in between you two. Clarke really loves you, Lun.” Lexa says with tears in her eyes. Her heart breaking as she says the words.

Luna bites her lip and looks back at Clarke. “I need some time. I’m sad and angry and I just can’t deal with all of this right now. I’ll text you when we can meet up and talk. I want this to work Clarke. I need you to know that this isn’t me giving up. I just need a day or two to figure out how I feel. Then we can work this out.” 

Clarke nods sadly. “Can I hug you?” Clarke asks timidly. Luna smiles softly and nods, opening up her arms. Clarke embraces the omega and Lexa feels out of place. She isn’t sure if she should just leave.

“I should get going.” Lexa says awkwardly as she walks passed them. She pauses and bites her lip, looking back at her best friend and love in eachother’s arms. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are Lex..we will talk soon.” Luna says softly. Lexa doesn’t dare to look at Clarke because she knows her eyes will betray her. She’s terrified Luna will see the love still there.

Lexa nods solemnly and gets into her car. She doesn’t allow herself to cry until she parks her car outside her house.

///

The next couple of days at school are awkward, to say the least. Luna texted Clarke saying she needs some space and Clarke has respected it wholeheartedly. It’s been weird for both of them though. Except for small smiles exchanged in the hallways, Luna and Clarke have not seen eachother since Monday. It’s Thursday now and Clarke misses her omega dearly.

Luna texted her earlier to say that she wants to come over later just like they planned last week. Clarke agrees quickly. Maybe things between them are finally okay.

“Hey..” Luna says awkwardly as she approaches the car.

“Hi Luna!” Clarke squeaks out. She’s so nervous.

“Ready to go?” Luna asks quietly signaling towards Clarke’s car.

“Yeah..yeah I’m ready.” Clarke mumbles.

They exchange small talk in the car. It’s awkward and tense and neither know what to say. They get to Clarke’s house and go in the alpha’s room. Luna sits down on the bed and starts to take her books out to do homework. Clarke does the same.

“I missed you Lun.” Clarke whispers out after a few minutes of working in silence. Luna looks up and pushes her reading glasses up the bridge of her nose adorably.

“I missed you too.” Luna says softly. “I’m sorry I took so long to come around I just needed time to sort out how I was feeling.”

“Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.” Clarke says quickly. “Um..so what do you feel now?” Clarke blurts out.

“I feel..a little sad. Kind of jealous.” Luna admits. “I mean my best friend and girlfriend were sleeping together. It’s hard.” Luna says quietly. Clarke scoots closer to her. The alpha pulls her omega in and kisses her temple.

“I’m so sorry we hid it.” Clarke mumbles against Luna’s skin.

“Me too.” Luna says sadly. “But I’m trying to get passed it. I love you both too much to hold a grudge.” Luna says and Clarke’s eyes widen. Luna just said she loves Clarke.

“You love me?” Clarke whispers in awe.

“Yes. You’re perfect to me. I love you so much.” Luna says with raw emotion palpable. Clarke nudges her nose on Luna’s cheek. The omega turns her face and kisses Clarke softly. They cup each other’s cheeks and gently kiss for a few minutes.

“I love you too.” Clarke says yet again. “I’m going to get your trust back.”

“You never lost it.” Luna admits. Luna kisses Clarke once more and whispers her love for the alpha against her lips.

They go back to work a few minutes later. Baby steps. Slowly but surely, they will get back to where they were again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short quick chapter my apologies but life has been so busy. I'll try to get more clexa-centric chapters out there real soon


	8. Summer Lovin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luna and Lexa talk. Time Jump! Summer changes a lot for them.

The next day during lunch Lexa is sitting with her usual crowd when Luna walks over. Lexa doesn’t notice the other omega until she’s standing right in front of her. The green eyed girl immediately tense.

“Luna..” Lexa says in shock. They haven’t talked since that horrible night a few days ago.

“Hey Lex. Can we talk?” Luna says softly. Both girls excuse themselves from the table and sit under one of the many trees. A great perk of living in California.

“So I’ve been thinking a lot about this..too much if I’m being honest.” Luna starts off, not looking at Lexa. Lexa’s head hangs in shame. “I hate this situation, you know? I hate it even more because you didn’t tell me. I mean shit, Lexa we used tell eachother everything. When did that change?” Luna asks quietly. Lexa looks up and they finally make eye contact.

“I trust you with my life, Lun.” Lexa mumbles quietly. It’s hard for her to be open emotionally like this. Luna knows that Lexa hates deep emotional conversations but this is one that needs to be had.

“If that were true, you would have told me.” Luna points out lightly.

“I just..” Lexa sighs out, frustrated. “The thing with Clarke..it was my own you know? Everyone wants something from me. But Clarke..Clarke was mine…” Lexa widens her eyes when she realizes what she just said. Luna looks a little shocked too. “Um I mean nobody expected anything of us. It was nice. There was no pressure to be the great Alexandria Woods. She liked me for me. But I screwed it up sooo…” Lexa trails off and Luna scans her face.

“That still doesn’t explain why you didn’t tell me, Lexa. You know I would have encouraged this thing between you and Clarke should I have known. You know I don’t care about popularity and reputation. I just want you to be happy.” Luna says softly. This is hard for her, talking about her girlfriend with her best friend. Just imagine how Lexa feels.

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you. You may not care about reputation and popularity but I _need_ to. I couldn’t have your encouragement to follow my heart clouding my head. You know what Titus would have done if he found out I was dating some random alpha with no social status.” Lexa says sadly.

“Lex…” Luna says with sadness.

“You think I want to be like this?! You think I want to care about what all the kids in this school think about me? To laugh when Ontari says cruel things to really decent kids like Clarke?! I only put up with Ontari because her father is Titus’ business partner! I have no power to change anything now. But one day I will. One day I will get my family away from that monster. But that day isn’t today. And I can’t afford to be selfish. Not now.” Lexa says in a frustrated tone, holding back tears of pure rage.

“I know Lexa. Come here.” Luna opens her arms. Lexa hesitantly accepts the embrace. Luna is really the only person Lexa allows herself to be weak around.

“You shouldn’t even be hugging me.” Lexa says quietly.

“Why? You’re always going to be my best friend.” Luna speaks gently.

“But I lied to you. I made Clarke lie to you.” Lexa says sadly.

“You didn’t lie. You just omitted the truth.” Luna says lightly.

“Yes lying by omission. Don’t get all philosophical and technical on me right now. All that matters is that I deceived you. How are you not angry?” Lexa asks, retracting from the embrace.

“I was never really angry. I was just really sad and disappointed that you didn’t tell me. I know you have trust issues Lexa but don’t you dare pull this shit with me again. I’m your best friend. You can tell me anything, and I mean anything.” Luna says in a tough love voice. She cups the other omega’s cheeks. “I will be here for you until I die. You will always have me. I may be with Clarke and I do love her. But you are my best friend and nobody is going to get between us. Do you understand that?” Luna says sincerely.

“Yes. I..I love you Luna. You’re more than my best friend..you’re um you’re my family.” Lexa mumbles truthfully. Luna is like a sister to her. “I’m really sorry. I was just scared and..”

“Look I don’t want apologies anymore. I just need to know the truth about something, Lex.” Luna gently cuts her off. Lexa braces herself for whatever she’s about to ask.

“Are you okay with me and Clarke? I obviously won’t share details with you anymore. I didn’t know why it made you so uncomfortable before but now I understand. I just need to know that I have your blessing to continue with this.” Luna says shakily. She doesn’t want to end her and Clarke. She loves Clarke. Not just a puppy love like with Octavia either. She’s really in love with her. But she won’t ruin her and Lexa’s friendship. Lexa is her family too.

Lexa bites her lip and looks away. It breaks her heart to see Luna and Clarke together. But she loves them both so much. Like she said before, she can’t be selfish right now. If she told Luna she wasn’t okay with it, she’d be extremely selfish. She lost her chance. She can’t ruin Clarke and Luna’s relationship.

“You two deserve to be happy, Luna. I truly mean that.” Lexa says sincerely. “You don’t need my blessing either. Me and Clarke were never together..I mean not really.”

“Don’t diminish what you two had. It meant a lot to Clarke..and I know you won’t admit it, but it meant a lot to you too. So yeah, I want your blessing.” Luna says honestly. Lexa has to push the tears away yet again.

“Ok. You have it...my blessing. Be happy. Treat her right and make sure she treats you right. You two are the best people I know. It’s fitting that you two are together.” Lexa says honestly, still feeling like there is vile rising up in her throat though.

“Thank you.” Luna hugs her. Lexa hugs her back, wishing things could be different but knowing this is how it’s all supposed to turn out.

///

_Two Months Later_

“Hey baby.” Clarke hugs Luna from behind, kissing her neck. It’s been two months since Luna found out about Lexa and Clarke’s past. 

“Hey love. Mm give me a kiss.” Luna turns around in her lover’s arms and kisses her passionately. Luna turns back around and busies herself with making snacks for their movie day. School has been out for summer break for a few weeks now and their relationship is back to where it was before. Some things are different but perhaps that’s for the better.

Sometimes Clarke and Raven would sit with some of Luna’s friends at lunch. Not Ontari and Octavia but some of Luna’s others friends will join them. Sometimes Lexa would join them too. At first, it was really awkward. But slowly it got better. Lexa is really trying here. She wants her best friend happy and she wants Clarke happy too.

A week after the incident, Luna brought Lexa and Clarke together. They all hungout at Clarke’s house and it was really really awkward and tense. Clarke and Lexa weren’t sure how to act around one another. Before, they acted like lovers in private and strangers in public. But now what were they? Certainly not lovers and definitely not strangers. Friends. That’s what they are working towards now.

And it’s hard, for both of them. Clarke loves Luna, but heart heart aches sometimes with a ‘what if’ for Lexa. As soon as those thoughts enter her head though, she shuts them down. She won’t indulge in fantasy. Her reality is Luna and she’s very happy with it. Truly.

Lexa knows Luna and Clarke aren’t as touchy around her and as much as she wants to tell them to act as they normally would, she knows she’s not ready to see that yet. Her heart still pangs when she thinks about Clarke saying ‘I love you’ to Luna. She has no idea how far they’ve gone either because Luna doesn’t tell her all those details anymore. A part of her is grateful and another part of her is going crazy not knowing.

“What movie do you want to watch?” Clarke mumbles into Luna’s neck as the omega pours them some drinks. Luna and Clarke spend most days together in the summer. Lexa is away working at some internship in D.C. that Titus made her do. It’s with some big shot lawyer. It’s a very big deal, but it’s also very busy apparently and she’s had very little time to contact them.

“Ahh Clarke..” Luna whispers out as the blonde kisses her neck some more, the alpha’s arms teasing at the omega’s waistband. Luna turns around swiftly and kisses Clarke on the lips. “Mm your lips taste like lemonade.” Luna mumbles in between kisses.

Clarke chuckles and picks up the omega by her thighs. Clarke has been working out a lot, her alpha is actually very strong now. Her social status as a weak lower alpha is totally gone. She’s strong, her pheromones and her physicality. Her smell is amazing too. She’s fully grown into her alpha.

“You still want to watch that movie?” Clarke whispers against Luna’s lips. Luna shakes her head no and Clarke smiles. The alpha carries Luna to her bedroom instead, kissing and touching her the whole way there. Clothes are shed and moans fill the air soon enough. Their whole summer is just about being in each other’s arms.

///

“Harder fuck..” Lexa moans out as the beautiful omega pushes two fingers inside her. “Like that yes…” Lexa whispers out desperately. She is propped up on a desk, legs wrapped around the face of this omega.

Lexa’s back arches as she moans loudly, grinding her core down on the face of this omega. “Holy shit! I...fuck!” Lexa screams loud, her legs shaking as she comes down from her explosive orgasm. The omega wipes her face on her arm and kisses back up her body. Lexa lazily kisses back in a post orgasm bliss.

“We better get back before someone sees we are missing.” Lexa says while buttoning up her blouse.

“Yeah. Pike would have a meltdown if he saw his two favorite interns like this.” The omega teases.

“Anya, you’re more than just his favorite intern, you’re his niece.” Lexa laughs lightly as she puts her panties back on.

“Fair point kid.” Anya says while zipping her own skirt up and fixing her makeup.

“I wish you wouldn’t call me kid. I’m only three years younger than you.” Lexa whines as she fixes her hair.

“Yes but you’re still in high school. I’m in college. So by that standard, you are a kid.” Anya states simply.

“Ugh whatever.” Lexa mumbles.

“Come on. You have to go finish that paperwork for Pike before he blows a gasket.” Anya says with a smirk on her face. “Oh and don’t forget, you’re coming out with me and my friends tonight.” Anya kisses her cheek and struts out first. Lexa chuckles and leaves a few minutes later to avoid suspicion. 

What a summer this has been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty so there's a lot of passion in the comment section there lmao. I just wanna let yall know that Clarke and Lexa will be together one day and [SPOILER] Luna will not be dying (well not until she's old and grey and lived a long happy life). It's possible to have a happy amazing relationship that eventually comes to an end. In a lot of fics, if Clexa is dating someone else, the other person is usually horrible. That's not always the case in life.
> 
> The timing isn't right for Lexa and Clarke right now. It will be one day though. They still need to grow and find their way back to eachother. 
> 
> Another point, there will be loads of time jumps. We will see their lives behind high school. And one day, we will see their lives happy and mated. But we aren't there yet. So patience because we will get there one day. Remember when I said this fic was going to be like a little combination of all those angsty tv shows we grew up watching? Well I wasn't lying. There will be angst. But I can promise a happy ending. I hope you stay reading but if you don't enjoy the plot, then that's okay too. Anywho enjoy and feel free to comment :)


	9. Out the Window, Back to Eachother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa returns from a summer away. What will she find when she returns?

“Lexa!!” Luna runs up to her best friend excitedly and hugs her tight. Lexa closes her eyes and hugs her back. She really did miss her best friend...that’s not the only one she missed though. She wonders briefly how Clarke is doing, but immediately pushes that thought away. She spent the whole summer push all thoughts of Clarke Griffin away.

“Hey Lun. I’ve missed you.” Lexa says softly. Luna smiles wide and pulls Lexa over to a table outside their high school. It’s the first day of school. Lexa waited until the last minute to come back. She needed space, space to try and move on. “So how was your summer, Lex?” Luna asks happily. Her and Lexa have talked constantly during the summer, whenever Lexa was free..which admittedly wasn’t a lot. Luna is hoping that Lexa was truly just busy this summer and not avoiding her. She doesn’t want to sound naive, but she really does think they’ve move passed the Clarke incident or at least are on their way to leaving all that drama in the past.

“Summer was...um busy.” Lexa says softly. “A lot to do.”

Luna smiles gently. Lexa is usually reserved with everyone but her… and little does she know, Clarke. Luna is hoping her and Lexa can get back to where they once were.

“Yeah I could only imagine! How was the firm?” Luna chirps out.

“Good.” Lexa nods slowly, looking around their high school campus. “How was your summer? Do anything fun?”

“Oh not really..” Luna mumbles. She spent her whole summer with Clarke, but she isn’t about to rub that in Lexa’s face.

“Really?” Lexa asks incredulously. “You and Clarke are okay still, right?” Lexa blurts out. If Clarke and Luna broke up, she wants to know.

“Oh yeah! We’re fine..better than fine.” Luna says happily. Lexa nods, feeling a familiar lump in her throat form. 

“Good..that’s...really good.” Lexa says quietly. The air is awkward.

“What about you?” Luna asks curiously. Lexa looks confused.

“What about me?” Lexa asks.

“Well, were you seeing anyone this break?” Luna asks and Lexa looks down.

“Not really…” Lexa says truthfully. Her and Anya were just friends with benefits. There were and are zero feelings towards one another.

“Well who was that girl in all your snaps?” Luna probes lightly.

“Anya.” Lexa replies evenly. “Yeah we were sleeping together but that’s it.” Lexa says cooly. Luna nods sadly. Lexa has never talked about anyone the way she talked about Clarke. Even though Luna had no idea that Lexa was seeing Clarke, Lexa would talk about this girl she was seeing last year. She would tell Luna about the alpha she was seeing and her eyes would light up. Any other time that Lexa was hooking up with someone, she would just say they were sleeping together. But the way she talked about Clarke was different. Luna is sad for her friend because now she is back to her ‘love is weakness’ mindset that her father drilled into her. 

“Oh I see. Well hey listen, you’re coming to my party on Friday, right? We have to kick off this year right.” Luna says and Lexa smirks a little.

“Of course Lun.” Lexa says gently. “I gotta go but I’ll see you at lunch?” Lexa says and Luna looks disappointed that her friend is leaving so soon. Lexa feels bad about leaving so quickly but she really does have to go talk to coach. 

“Sure Lex. It’s great seeing you again!” Luna calls out. Lexa softly smiles back.

“You too.”

///

_Friday Night_

“Chug, chug, chug, chug! Yes Clarke!” All the rowdy boys and girls are surrounding Clarke. The first thing Lexa sees when she enters the party is Clarke doing a kegstand. She immediately feels disoriented and confused. This isn’t the Clarke she knew. The Clarke she knew was quiet and sweet. She wasn’t some wild party animal. 

“Lexa!” Luna pops up behind the omega and hugs her tight. “I’m so glad you could make it!” Luna says with a drink in her hand.

“Hey Lun..” Lexa says distractedly, looking back at Clarke. Luna follows her vision and sees that Lexa is worriedly staring at Clarke.

“Oh don’t worry about Clarke! Her tolerance has gone up a bunch this summer. She’s gotten pretty close with Bell and Tav too.” Luna says happily. She’s happy that Clarke is now friends with at least some of her friends. Ontari, who somehow is still in their group, still has a very rough relationship with Clarke. But everyone else has started to really come to not only accept the blonde, but like her.

“Really?” Lexa says surprised. Clarke didn’t really like her group as far as she knew...well maybe she just didn’t like Ontari.

“Yeah, did you know that her and Octavia were childhood best friends?” Luna says and Lexa looks back over at Clarke, yet again surprised. She guesses there was a lot about Clarke that she didn’t know. 

“No..I...didn’t know that.” Lexa says shakily. She hates this. Why did she agree to come?

“Yeah..well her, Octavia, and Raven had a drunken heart to heart this summer at one of the parties. They’ve gotten really close again. It’s kinda great.” Luna says and Lexa smiles sadly. She’s happy Clarke has made friends with a lost childhood best friend, but she’s sad that she didn’t even know that she lost a best friend. Lexa is still sad she didn’t give what her and Clarke could have had a real chance. But she plans on keeping that bottled down for all of eternity.

“Well good for them.” Lexa says evenly. Luna frowns a little.

“Are you okay?” Luna asks softly.

“What? Yeah I’m fine.” Lexa says convincingly enough. “I just need a shot. Want to take a shot with me?” Lexa asks and Luna smiles.

“Yea! Lead the way.” Luna says, following Lexa in the kitchen for a shot.

///

“Alright, drinking game bitches.” Ontari calls out. A big group of people get in a circle. “Never have I ever.”

Luna sits down and looks around for Clarke. “Clarke, get over here babe.” Lexa is sitting across from Luna and looks down at her feet at the use of the word ‘babe.’ Lexa starts beating herself up for not being as over it as she thought she was.

“Hi..” Clarke sits next to Luna, resting her head in between Luna’s neck and shoulder. She presses a sloppy light kiss on Luna’s collarbone. Luna giggles.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” Luna asks in a whisper, but Lexa hears. She pretends like she’s not watching the intimate scene in front of her but she is a glutton of punishment so of course she is. Clarke’s eyes are glazed over and she has a dopey smile on her face. Truthfully, she never gets this drunk but she was really nervous. She was freaking out when she found out Lexa was coming to the party. 

“Okay..I’ll start.” Lexa blurts out, wanting this lovey dovey interaction in front of her to come to a halt or at least to be distracted from it. All eyes are on her now, waiting for her next sentence. “Never have I ever...been arrested.” Lexa smirks and Ontari huffs.

“You suck Woods..” Ontari chuckles, throwing back some of her drink. Some of the crowd ooo’s her. “This asshole..” pointing at Lexa, “dared me to flash a cop. Happened to be high too. The cop was not amused.” Ontari says and Lexa laughs.

“Alright alright, next one.” Lexa says with a laugh. It’s Bellamy’s turn. 

“Never have I ever..kissed someone in this circle.” Bellamy says and some people laugh. Luna, Clarke, and Lexa tense up though. Luna, Clarke, Lexa, Octavia, Ontari, and Roan drink as well as a couple other girls and boys. Clarke wonders if Lexa has hooked up with anyone else in the circle. A little jealousy threatens to break free but she suppresses it. She truly loves Luna. Luna is amazing. But the sting of ‘what could have been’ with Lexa always haunts her. I mean, after all, you never forget your first love. 

“Never have I ever..um had sex?” Raven says and a large portion of the group chugs back some alcohol from their cups. Lexa pales immediately when she sees Luna sneakily drink some of her drink. So that means that Clarke and Luna had sex. Lexa feels her face grow really hot and jealousy consume her. Logically, she knew Clarke and Luna were probably having sex at this point. But thinking it and actually knowing it are too different things.

“Excuse me…” Lexa stands up abruptly. Everyone is curiously looking at her. Clarke and Luna both looking at her worriedly. “I..my cup is empty.” Lexa lies and flashes a smile. Every buys the lie, even Luna..but not Clarke. Clarke watches Lexa go upstairs instead of to the kitchen and she immediately knows something is wrong. After a few minutes, Clarke excuses herself to go pee. She pecks Luna on the lips and then leaves for upstairs to find Lexa and check on her.

Clarke peeks into a dark bedroom, the only unlocked room. It’s Luna’s room. Clarke goes in and sees that the window is open. Part of Luna’s roof is flat so Clarke knows that sometimes Luna would sit out there and look at the stars. Luna told Clarke once that her and Lexa used to do that at every sleepover. It wasn’t exactly the safest thing to do but it was a little tradition of theirs. Clarke looks and sees the window is open, seeing Lexa sitting out there, staring at the stars. 

Clarke drunkenly walks over and climbs out the window, scooching toward Lexa. Clarke briefly thinks about how drunk she is and perhaps maybe she shouldn’t be climbing out windows right now, but that fear goes of the window as well as soon as she hears Lexa’s tearful hiccups. 

“Lexa?” Clarke says gently. Lexa tenses completely. The poor omega has her head in between her legs and her arms covering her face. She stops crying for a second and looks up. Lexa’s eyes soften and her cheeks heat up in embarrassment. Of course it’s Clarke. Of course Clarke realized she was upset and came to check on her. Clarke’s kindness towards her makes Lexa want to cry even more.

“Hey hey..don’t cry.” Clarke moves even closer to her, her movements slightly sloppy because of all the alcohol in her system. Clarke is trying really hard to sound and act sober right now. She knows that Lexa need her. 

“I’m fine Clarke. Just go back down to the party. I’m sure Luna is looking for you.” Lexa says evenly, trying to hide the thickness of her voice from all the crying.

“Luna is just fine without me. I’m here for you.” Clarke says gently. “Can I..would it be alright if I hugged you?” Clarke’s voice is small and unsure. Lexa’s lip trembles. She really wants to be weak. She really wants to fall into Clarke’s embrace and never let go. But that’s the problem, if Clarke hugs her, even for a moment, Lexa doesn’t think she will be able to let go.

“I..I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Lexa hiccups. She internally curses herself for looking so weak in front of someone else other than herself. But then she realizes, she is more comfortable doing this, being vulnerable, in front of Clarke than she has been with anyone else in her life. The notion makes her even sadder than she was five seconds ago. Clarke really could have been her person.

“Okay..I respect that.” Clarke’s voice is understanding. This isn’t easy for any of them. This whole situation is fucked. 

“Seriously, Clarke, you can go downstairs. Enjoy the party. I’m just being dumb and-”

“Now stop that.” Clarke says firmly. Lexa immediately shuts up. “Don’t ever call yourself dumb for showing your emotions. Don’t ever call yourself dumb period. You’re so much than you can see, Lex. You’re so much more than your father tells you you are.” Clarke says very passionately but her voice is just above a whisper. Lexa seems to be having some real trouble holding back her tears. “Now if you really want me to leave, I will respect your decision. But just know, for the record, I don’t want to leave you. I want to be here with you right now. There’s no place I’d rather be.” Clarke says and perhaps her wording is a bit fucked up. Perhaps it’s more than she should be saying when she has an amazing girlfriend, a girlfriend she adores, a girlfriend who is best friends with the girl she’s currently talking to. “I mean..”

“I know what you mean, Clarke.” Lexa softly says, wiping her tears away. She sucks in a shaky breath and closes her eyes. This is hard for her to say, incredibly fucking hard. It feels like she’s going against everything that has been ingrained and conditioned in her for years. “I’d like for you to stay.” There she said it. She wants Clarke here as a shoulder to cry on, as a person who she can be vulnerable to and show her real self. And maybe this is wrong, maybe she shouldn’t be talking to Clarke like this. But right now, she’s going to be weak. Tomorrow, Lexa can build up her walls again higher than anyone has ever seen. But for right now, this is what she needs. Clarke is what she needs. 

“Then I’m staying.” Clarke says simply. Lexa starts sniffling and crying again. Clarke holds out her hand and Lexa grabs onto it for dear life. Maybe after this, she’ll have some closure. They’re silent for about ten minutes, just looking at the stars. Clarke is patiently waiting for Lexa to speak. She knows she can’t push Lexa too hard. Talking about her emotions is incredibly intense and hard for her. Clarke’s going to let Lexa decided the direction of this conversation. Lexa eventually takes her hand from Clarke’s and sighs deeply, wiping the runny mascara off her face so she doesn’t look like a raccoon. 

“I’m a mess..” Lexa laughs bittersweetly.

“You’re not a mess.” Clarke says sincerely and firmly.

“Well at the very least, I made a mess...a big mess.” Lexa says quietly. Clarke doesn’t disagree with her so quickly this time. Lexa laughs sadly. “See, you know it too.” 

“Lexa..” Clarke says in a pained whisper.

“No, it’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it. I know I fucked up. I know I’m still fucking up. I know you’re over it and moved on and found someone who really deserves you. You and Luna are the best people I know. I’m so happy for you two...it’s just my own shit, you know? I’m still dealing with all this.”

Clarke is silent for a minute, trying to figure out what to say. She finally breaks her silence. “What we had was...well it will always hold a really big part of my heart, Lex….and I just want you to know, that no matter who I am with or where I am..you were my first love.” Clarke says gently and Lexa feels her heart pulverized to dust. “I didn’t say it before because there was no point, but I saw home much me telling Luna I loved her in front of you hurt you. I saw it in your eyes. It was wrong of me to do that. I..I just want you to know that what we shared meant more to mean than you realize. It wasn’t easy for me to move on, even though it seemed easy enough because I moved on fast. If I’m being honest, and I am going to be unbelievingly honest right now with all the liquor in my system, I haven’t fully moved on from you. I don’t think I ever will..at least not completely.”

Lexa looks at Clarke with big wide eyes. Her heart feels like beating again for the first time in a long time. But it’s bittersweet. Clarke just told her that a part of her will always love Lexa. Lexa doesn’t know how to react to this information. She knows Clarke is drunk but that’s when the truth really comes out...right?

“Clarke..I don’t know what to say.” Lexa says softly, her heart breaking. It doesn’t matter if Clarke will never be over her completely or that Lexa is still head over heels in love with her..Clarke is still with Luna. Clarke also loves Luna. Luna loves Clarke. That’s all that matters to Lexa.

“I know you’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this now.” Clarke says gently. Lexa nods. “Lexa, you hurt me.” Clarke says it in such a pained voice. “You really got to me. I just..I know you didn’t mean to affect me the way you did...but I loved you so much. I’ve loved you since I first saw you. I mean, sure, at that point it was just a puppy dog love. But then I met you, I got to be with you...even if it was only in secret. Everything I felt for you intensified. It was so much for me to handle and you crushed me. I didn’t know all the reasons why you acted the way you did back then and although it still doesn’t really excuse how shitty you treated me, I understand. I understand and I want to put everything out there. No more secrets. I feel like I’ve been drowning in secrets and we both deserve better.”

“You really loved me?” Lexa asked after a few minutes of silence.

“Yes.” Clarke says in a pained voice. “Feelings like that don’t just come and go, Lexa. I don’t want you to be a stranger. I still want to be in your life and you in mine. But if you think it’s too much, I understand.”

“I want to be in your life, Clarke. I want to be able to get to a point where I can see you and Luna kiss and not feel my heart breaking. I am happy for you two but I just..I’m not ready to be a part of your love story with someone else, my best friend no less. I just can’t.” Lexa says shakily. Clarke looks at the poor omega in front of her sadly.

“I get that. If I’m being honest, I think seeing you with someone else would be just as hard. I know I shouldn’t say that..but I’ve never liked not telling the truth. And that’s my truth.” Clarke says truthfully, knowing very well that she is playing with fire. 

“Clarke, can I ask you something?” Lexa says carefully. She shouldn’t ask this but she just has to.

“Anything you want.” Clarke says genuinely.

“Why are you with Luna?” Lexa asks in a rushed whisper. 

Clarke sighs. “I know after everything I just said it doesn’t seem like it, but I do love her. I...feelings are a complicated thing. When I’m with her, everything is perfect. We are perfect. The whole summer was like this amazing bubble..and then I see you. I see you and everything is turned off its axis. I love her though. I really do. And even in the most confusing of moments, even in those moments where all I can think about is…” Clarke sighs deeply and stops herself from saying that next thought. “I love her and she loves me and what we have is real.”

“Okay..” Lexa breathes out deeply. “Okay.” There is a silence between them. What Lexa heard from Clarke wasn’t easy, but it’s closure of some sort. At least Lexa know nows that Clarke loved her. At least she knows that what they had was special and brilliant. Clarke will always be the one who got away and that will always sting. And now Lexa knows that she is the one that got away for Clarke. It’s sad. It’s bittersweet. But it’s what she surprisingly needed to hear to truly try and move on. “Thank you Clarke.”

“Of course. I’ll always be here.” And it’s true. Clarke will always be there for Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo my lovelies, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I know y'all have been waiting for a chapter and I appreciate the patience. Please sound off in the comments! I know neither girl is perfect here, that's the point. They're kids in high school. They're bound to make mistakes..cut em some slack. Thanks to all the kudos and comments.


	10. Me and You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLASHFOWARDS! a lot has changed. where does clexa stand with one another now?

_TWO YEARS LATER_

“I can’t believe we are graduating.” Clarke says casually, sitting down next to Lexa in the empty art class room. Everyone else is outside getting ready to line up for graduation. Lexa and Clarke are all ready to go in their cap and gown.

“How do you always manage to find me when I don’t want to be found?” Lexa says with a soft smile on her face. 

“I guess I’m a Lexa expert.” Clarke muses quietly and Lexa snorts and rolls her eyes.

“You’re such a dork.” Lexa says quietly. Both of them enjoy the quiet for a few minutes before Lexa speaks up. “Where’s Lun?”

“She’s out there with Raven.” Clarke says stiffly. Lexa picks up on tension in Clarke's voice.

“You guys are still in limbo then?” Lexa probes gently. Clarke nods. Her and Lexa weren’t close for the rest of junior year. Lexa needed her space and Clarke respected that. It was only the summer before senior year that Clarke and Lexa grew close again. Luna was away at a journalism internship across the country. Clarke and Lexa bonded alot that summer...as friends, strictly friends. 

“Me and Luna...” Clarke starts her sentence and then sighs and shakes her head. “I just feel like we are going in different directions. She’s going to school in England and I’ll be at NYU.”

Lexa is quiet for a second. She has moved on from Clarke on the surface level. She can see Clarke and Luna together and her heart doesn’t squeeze uncontrollably. Her and Clarke make a habit of not bringing up eachother’s significant others. Their friendship works better when they don’t talk about those kinds of things.

“Is it really the distance that’s bothering you?” Lexa says and Clarke bites her lip.

“I do love her..but...I’m not sure about being _in love_ with her..at least not anymore.” Clarke says and Lexa feels her heart seize up in a way it hasn’t since the time her and Clarke were on Luna’s roof years ago. 

“Have you told her this?” Lexa says softly.

“We talked last night. She doesn’t feel the same way she used to about me. We had a good run but..I feel like the past few months we have just been trying to hold on and get back to where we once were.” Clarke says and then shakes her head and smiles at Lexa. “Enough with my relationship drama, we are graduating today. All the heavy stuff can wait until tomorrow.”

“Yeah..” Lexa says, tensing up.

Clarke looks at her, observing. Lexa hates (but secretly loves) that it only takes Clarke one look to know something is wrong with her. Nobody else can do that. “I saw Titus out in the bleachers earlier.” Clarke says gently. She smells the spike of angry anxious phermones coming off of Lexa.

“He has to put on a good show. Pretend he’s a supportive father and family man.” Lexa grits her teeth. Clarke pulls Lexa’s hand into her own.

“When you’re up there saying you speech, don’t think about him. Think about your brothers and your mom and Marcus. They are proud of you and so am I. Don’t let Titus ruin today for you. And if you need an anchor, look for me in the crowd. I’ll be the dork laughing whenever you mess up in your speech.” Clarke ends with a gentle smile. Lexa laughs gently.

“Oh shut up.” Lexa playfully shoves her. Clarke squeezes her hand and makes her way to the door.

“Come on Miss Valedictorian. You’ve got a speech to mess up.” Clarke teases and Lexa laughs. Lexa gets up toward the door and right before they are about to leave, she gently grabs onto Clarke’s wrist. Clarke looks up at her. Lexa hugs her tight and Clarke immediately hugs her back. It’s emotional but sweet.

“Thank you Clarke..for everything.” Lexa says gently.

“Who would have thought we would end up here.” Clarke says quietly. Lexa releases a watery laugh once the pair breaks apart. They walk outside side by side, knowing their worlds are about to change yet again. 

///

_SEVEN MONTHS LATER_

“You’re coming out with us, Lexa.” Kenna says as she puts on her makeup. Kenna is Lexa’s freshman year roommate at Columbia. They have become close friends. Kenna is an omega as well. 

College has been good for Lexa. At first, she was felt immense guilt for leaving her mother and brothers with that monster. She knows though that she won’t be able to help her family until she has a name, reputation, and job for herself to support them with. So college has been a time for her to start again.

In high school, everyone knew her as a heartbreaker and a complete player. Especially after Clarke, Lexa played up her player status even more. It took her a long time and a hell of a lot of self reflection to grow up. Now that she’s in college, she doesn’t have the same reputation. In fact, now Kenna has to literally drag her out of the house to go party and let loose.

“I promised Clarke I would hangout with her today.” Lexa says softly finishes cleaning her glasses on her sweater. Kenna raises her eyebrows. “You two need to start sleeping together again. The tension is insane.” Kenna says and Lexa huffs. She regrets ever getting so drunk off tequila and telling Kenna about the whole messy love triangle between her, Clarke, and Luna. She may have even admitted that she still loves Clarke, a secret she keeps hidden even from herself.

“Please stop saying that. And please never say that to Clarke’s face.” Lexa lightly reprimands her friend. Kenna shrugs. 

“Whatever..just bring Clarke, yeah?” Kenna says and Lexa bites her lip. She hasn’t gone out drinking with Clarke since high school and back then, Clarke was still with Luna. Now Clarke is single. 

Clarke being single is a concept Lexa still isn’t used to. As far as she knows, Clarke hasn’t been with anyone since her and Luna broke up; if she has, she sure hasn’t told Lexa. Lexa and Clarke have grown closer than they were in high school. They both go to school in Manhattan so it’s easy to stay connected. They grab coffee every week, study late nights together in the New York City Public Library, and have movie nights every Friday. It’s been really nice, but very platonic. Lexa knows that her and Clarke will never be together _like that_ again.

“I don’t know..” Lexa says with a sigh.

“Come on Lex! This party is supposed to be wild. And Daniel will be there so you have to be my wingwoman.” Kenna says and Lexa laughs.

“Okay fine. I’ll see if Clarke wants to come.”

“See that’s the roommate I know and love!”

Kenna runs up and kisses Lexa’s cheek before running off the bathroom to finish getting ready. Lexa shakes her head and smiles before grabbing her phone and texting Clarke. 

**To Clarke:** Hey stranger. Want to go to a party with me and some girls tonight instead of our usual movie night?

Lexa puts her phone down and busies herself with studying until her phone chimes a few minutes later.

 **From Clarke** : Sure! What girls?

Lexa frowns a little, feeling a little jealous for a minute.

 **To Clarke:** Kenna and some girls from my dorm hall floor. Be here at 10ish. We are drinking a bit before the party.

 **From Clarke:** Okay, I’ll bring tequila (that’s still your favorite right?)

Lexa smiles wide at the text. Kenna walks back out and shakes her head at her smiling roommate. Lexa is so love with that blonde alpha. Kenna decides she’s going to use all her wingwoman abilities to get them together. 

///

“So Clarke, are you seeing anyone?” Kenna asks casually after a few shots. They are all sitting around Kenna and Lexa’s room. Their other friends Ally, Maria, Preston, Charlie, and Fiona are there as well. 

Lexa looks at Kenna wide eyed. Kenna can tell Lexa is going to yell at her later but she doesn’t care.

“Oh no definitely not.” Clarke says with a laugh. Lexa feels her heartbeat slow and her body calm down. She knows she’s fucked. She’s head over heels in love with Clarke. But she can’t. She feels like a broken record but it’s the truth. Clarke is her childhood best friend’s ex. Clarke and Luna ended on good terms. They officially broke up three weeks after their high school graduations. Luna is now dating some beta named Derek. He’s an english major, studying to be a teacher. She’s happy with him. It’s not serious but she’s happy with casual right now. Lexa is happy for her. She still feels immense guilt for always secretly having feelings for Clarke. She pushed them away for the last two years successfully and distracted herself well with a bunch of girls, but now it’s different. Lexa has stopped running. But she still can’t be with Clarke. Too much has happened. 

Then there’s always Costia. Costia, the alpha that Titus wants her to marry one day. She met Costia this summer for the first time. Costia Winters’ mother is Nia Winters, a big business tycoon who loves to finance political careers of those she deems worthy. Nia has her pockets in some of the most powerful people in the world. Titus and her know each other from grad school. She wants Costia to marry a omega who is on the rise. This way, she will be able to control them well. Lexa was the perfect candidate.

But Costia isn’t like her mother. Costia isn’t manipulative as far as Lexa can tell. She’s honest. She told Lexa straight up that she is really focused on her career. Costia is a few years older. Lexa is 18 right now and Costia is 22. They’re supposed to mate once Lexa finishes law school so there’s still a whole lot of time. They aren’t in a relationship now or anything. They both can do as they please until they are mated. Costia promised she would be loyal to Lexa but that her career will always come first. Lexa thought Costia would be much worse but Costia is nice enough and isn’t really asking anything of Lexa. They will be mated one day but Lexa will have all the independence in the world and can do as she pleases. Lexa knows how horrible this setup might sound to some, but it doesn’t sound all that bad to her. She’s accepted her fate. Head over heart. She needs to protect her family.

Point is though, she hasn’t told Clarke any of this. Clarke would freak out and Lexa knows it. Clarke has asked her over the years about the alpha that Titus wishes her to wed and Lexa waves her off, lying that Titus hasn’t brought that up in years. She knows Clarke’s alpha would freak out and probably confront Titus, which would only end with Titus putting a target on Clarke’s back.

“No?” Fiona asks curiously, her eyes lighting up. Lexa clenches her jaw a little at the overly inquisitive tone of her friend’s voice. Only Kenna knows about Lexa and Clarke’s history. Everyone else just thinks the two girls are old friends from high school and that Clarke used to date Lexa’s best friend. 

“Nope. My last relationship ended in like seven months ago.” Clarke says softly.

“So you haven’t had sex in seven months?!” Preston asks and Ally lightly hits him.

“Babe, stop being so nosy!” Ally reprimands him and Clarke just laughs.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind the question.” Clarke says with a chuckle. “Actually it’s been more like 9 months.” Clarke shrugs. Lexa looks over at Clarke, shocked. 

“I couldn’t imagine not being with some for 9 months.” Fiona chips in and smiles. Lexa has to suppress her growl.

“Well I mean I’ve madeout with some people..” Clarke coughs a little. She can smell Lexa’s angry pheromones, which only confuses her more. “Just one or two girls at parties, you know? Nothing serious and that was just in the beginning of college. I haven’t hooked up with someone in awhile.” Clarke says casually. 

“Why not? You’re a gorgeous alpha.” Fiona flirts and Clarke blushes, but leans subconsciously closer to Lexa.

“Oh thanks.” Clarke laughs nervously. “I don’t have the desire to.” Clarke shrugs and looks over and smiles at lexa. Lexa smiles back. 

“Okay okay, enough with the interrogation.” Lexa says and Clarke moves even closer to her, Clarke’s head leaning on Lexa’s shoulder.

“You’re right. Let’s go party!” Kenna says and everyone starts filing out of the room. Fiona latches onto Clarke and starts talking her ear off. Lexa immediately fills with jealousy. Lexa lags behind as everyone is already out of the room. Clarke excuses herself from Fiona and comes back in the room. Lexa looks upset over something.

“Do you maybe wanna just stay and hangout? We could watch a movie like we originally planned and get drunk on tequila?” Clarke says sweetly, noticing Lexa is upset about something just not knowing about what.

“I feel bad making you miss the party. My friends really like you..Fiona seems to like you a lot too.” Lexa says gently with no malice. Clarke just shrugs.

“Well I’m glad your friends like me.” Clarke says softly. “I wanted to make a good impression on them since they are your friends after all. But honestly, I don’t care if we are at a party or watching a movie or scrubbing toilets, I just want to hangout with you.” 

Lexa chuckles. “So if I suggested cleaning the toilets of my floor’s shared bathroom you would be okay with that?” Lexa teasingly asks. 

“Yes ma’am.” Clarke says and Lexa laughs. “So movie night, just me and you?” Clarke asks hopefully. Lexa bites her lip. She knows it’s a bad idea to be alone with tequila, Clarke, and a empty dorm room but she can’t help herself. 

“Just me and you. Let me text Kenna and let her know we aren't gonna go anymore.” Lexa says and Clarke is all smiles. Clarke plops on Lexa’s bed and starts scrolling on the TV for a movie. Lexa joins her a minute later. Yeah, Clarke is definitely her kryptonite..but maybe that’s not a bad thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for inconsistent updates. life has been so insanely busy. hopefully i can update more. i know this might seem like all the plotlines have been wrapped up too quickly, but it was never my intention to drag out their high school lives for too many chapters. like i've said before, clarke and lexa will be different things to one another and different point in their lives. 
> 
> feel free to comment (i love hearing your opinions)


	11. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time Jump..What will this one bring? Clarke asks Lexa for a favor. How will Clarke ever manage to repay her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for any mistakes

_Four Months Later_

“You should just ask Lexa to do it.” Raven says before loudly biting into a apple. Clarke shakes her head and turns her attention back to her easel. She’s finishing up her most recent artwork for her art class.

“No way...asking her to model naked for my art final would complicate things.” Clarke mumbles.

“It’s not like you two haven’t seen each other naked before.” Raven shrugs. 

“Rae!” Clarke scolds her best friend. A blush immediately reaches Clarke’s face. She tries to forget about how her and Lexa used to be together. It still hurts to think about because she knows they will never be together like that again. It just can’t be.

“What? It’s true! Come on, Clarke. You and I both know that you and Lexa aren’t the same kind of friends that you and me are. I came over earlier and you were literally napping together.” Raven says knowingly. Clarke blushes.

“We were watching a movie and we fell asleep. It was completely innocent.” Clarke shrugs.

“You were spooning her. Like you two were all cuddled into one another.” Raven says and Clarke huffs.

“Raven..” Clarke warns.

“Look all I’m saying is that you never spoon me.” Raven says before taking another bite of her apple. “You and Lexa have always had sexual tension. You haven't been with Luna for almost a year now. You’ve only been with one girl since the break up. That Lexa look alike. What was her name again?” 

“Tessa.” Clarke says. Tessa is a senior art student and a beta. Her and Clarke met in class this spring semester and immediately hit it off. Tessa had short brown hair and dark green eyes. They hooked up a couple times before Clarke called it quits. There were no hard feelings. Raven kept teasing Clarke that Tessa looked very similar to a certain omega. Once Clarke realized the resemblance, she called it off. She was just chasing a phantom of what could have been, yet again. 

“You know I wasn’t Lexa’s biggest fan for a long time.” Raven says, her voice suddenly softer now. “But years have passed and we all have grown up a lot..and thank god for that...Lexa is one of the good ones. Whether or not you want to admit it, I know how you feel about her. The only thing holding you back is yourself now.” 

Raven walks away and leaves Clarke to her thoughts. 

///

 **From Clarke:** Can I ask you a favor? 

**From Clarke:** You can totally say no!

 **From Clarke:** You know what, never mind actually. I was just being stupid.

Lexa is walking back from her law class when she hears her phone buzzing. She looks at her phone and immediately her face brightens when she sees Clarke’s name pop up on her screen. Her and Clarke have been immensely close these past few months. Lexa even sleeps over her house almost every weekend. Kenna always teases Lexa that they are dating without the sex.

Speaking of sex, Lexa has not been with anyone is months. Lexa knows that Clarke was casually seeing some girl from her art class for a couple weeks two months ago. It hurt her deeply but before Lexa could even muster up the guts to talk to Clarke about her feelings, Clarke ended things with the other girl. After that, Lexa chose to live happily in ignorant bliss for a little while longer. She doesn’t want to ruin whatever her and Clarke are doing by bringing up her feelings...at least, not yet.

Lexa smiles at the texts. Clarke is so cute when she’s nervous and it’s very obvious she’s nervous right now. 

**To Clarke:** What’s this favor that’s making you so nervous? Lol

Lexa looks at her phone, waiting for a reply. 

_Clarke is typing…_

_Clarke is typing…_

_Clarke is typing…_

Lexa bites her lip in anticipation. Clarke keeps typing and deleting and retyping again. What could be making her so nervous.

 **From Clarke:** So I have a art project coming up..

 **From Clarke:** And I was wondering if you would be willing to be my model for it..umm it’s a nude portrait.

Lexa’s face immediately turns red when she reads the texts. She feels hot all over at the idea of being naked in front of Clarke again. All the feelings she has tried to push down for so long are bubbling at the surface again..especially those feelings of intense wanton desire and lust.

Should she do it? I mean, her and Clarke are friends. Best friends. Will this make the friendship weird? No. Lexa physically shakes her head. She refuses to let the friendship get weird. This is for a art project. It’s not like Clarke is asking to see her naked for other reasons. Lexa feels flush. She can do this for her best friend. And if not for Clarke, Lexa can do this to prove to herself that there is absolutely nothing left between them anymore...no matter how much she may wish there was. 

**To Clarke:** It’s not a problem Clarke. Just let me know when and where.

Lexa feels nerves in her belly after sending out that text. Is she making a mistake? Oh god, what is she gets aroused during the sketching and Clarke can smell her pheromones?!

 **From Clarke:** OMG thank you! How does tomorrow at 5 p.m. sound? Raven is visiting home for the weekend so it’ll just be me and you. I’ll even cook you dinner to repay you for literally saving my GPA. 

Lexa smiles softly. Clarke is so sweet. Lexa’s eyes widen slightly though. Her and Clarke will be alone. No interruptions. Lexa doesn’t know what she got herself into here. Doesn’t matter though because they are strictly friends. Just friends. Yep, even Lexa has had a hard time believing that story lately.

///

Lexa has been standing at Clarke’s door for over ten minutes now, too afraid to knock. It’s insane. She’s so comfortable with her body and her sexualness. She has always been very open in that regard and very confident. But the idea of being naked, both physically and emotionally open to Clarke again, is very daunting. She’s terrified, but she’s also excited and that scares her even more.

Lexa doesn’t want to get hurt again. She knows that her and Clarke have a complicated past. She doesn’t want to complicate it more with her feelings. Lexa takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. She can hear Clarke’s hurried footsteps to the door. Clarke opens the door up with a wide smile.

“Hey Lex!” Clarke says happily, opening the door wider for Lexa to step in. Lexa politely smiles and walks in.

“Hey Clarke.” Lexa mumbles while walking deeper into the alpha’s apartment. She has been here a million times. Hell, she literally sleeps over Clarke’s apartment most weekends. But something feels different tonight and she can’t quite put her finger on what that different is. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that she will be naked under Clarke’s gaze oh so very soon. 

“Ready to get started?” Lexa asks calmly and Clarke chuckles. Lexa turns around, confused to why Clarke is chuckling.

“Well you’re very ready to jump into it, huh?” Clarke says with a teasing smile. Lexa smiles back at her, her nerves instantly calming. This is Clarke here. Clarke, with the beautiful smile complete with a sexy beauty mark right above her delicious lips. Clarke, with the corny jokes and even more dorky of laughs. Clarke, the girl who accidentally stole her heart and never gave it back. Lexa realizes she couldn’t be in safer hands. This is _her_ Clarke. There’s no reason to be nervous. 

“You bet your ass I am, Griffin.” Lexa says like her usual confident self. She starts stripping until she’s down in just her panties and bra. Lexa isn’t going to lie, she may have picked out her hottest bra and panty set for this occasion. Just because they’re just friends doesn’t mean Lexa isn’t going to subconsciously dress well for this. Clarke hasn’t seen her naked since high school after all.

Clarke immediately gulps. This was such a mistake. Lexa is even more toned than she was in high school. Her breasts are bursting out of her bra just enough to have Clarke desperately trying to force down a growl. Clarke bites her lip and shakes her head. She can’t be objectifying Lexa like this. Lexa is doing her a favor for her art project. This isn’t sexual at all. 

“Um..” Clarke starts out and then shakes her head a bit, in a daze. Lexa looks at her carefully. Is Clarke really that affected by her? Hope suddenly blooms in Lexa’s chest and she doesn’t know how to shut it down. 

“Clarke?” Lexa asks gently.

“Yep! Um..sorry. You’re just so...” Clarke says in awe. She cuts herself off though and clears her throat instead of finishing her sentence. She wanted to say Lexa is just so perfect but she knows that would be inappropriate and she doesn’t want Lexa to feel uncomfortable. “You can lay on the couch in whatever position you find most comfortable. You can leave your panties on but um..if it’s okay, do you think you could take off your bra?” Clarke says with beet red cheeks. “If you’re not comfortable, I totally get it and I can just sketch you in your bra and..” 

“Clarke..” Lexa approaches Clarke and cups her cheeks. Clarke’s eyes fly to Lexa’s. It’s a deeply intimate moment. Lexa didn’t mean anything by touching Clarke. She just wanted to calm Clarke down. She could tell the blonde is nervous. “Take a breath. It’s okay. I was going to take my bra off as soon as you told me where you wanted me.” Lexa says and immediately winces at her word choice. “Um I didn’t mean for it to sound like that...you..you know what I mean.” Lexa mumbles with an embarrassed flush on her cheeks.

“Yeah..” Clarke gulps deeply and goes to grab her sketchbook. The two girls don’t talk for three hours except for Clarke occasionally asking Lexa to move or to look in a certain direction and Lexa asking if her position is okay. After 30 minutes or so, neither girls are nervous and the initial nerves are completely gone.

“Alright, I finished.” Clarke says gently. Lexa yawns and sits up. Is it possible to be tired just from laying around for three hours?

“Cool, can I put my clothes back on?” Lexa says softly. Clarke looks up at her.

“Oh yeah, let me grab them for you.” Clarke hurries to get Lexa’s clothes while Lexa always moves to get them. 

“Oh no it’s okay-”

The two girls collide, both reaching for the heap of clothes on the floor. Clarke steadies Lexa by holding onto her bare waist. Lexa just stands there looking into Clarke’s eyes. For a moment, they are suspended in time. Lexa’s eyes travel to Clarke’s lips. When her green eyes return to Clarke’s eyes, she sees that Clarke is also staring at her lips. Lexa can smell Clarke’s aroused pheromones just as much as she can assume Clarke can smell hers. Lexa knows that she is almost completely bare right now but she’s not nervous. It feels really right. 

“Um s-sorry.” Clarke says softly, politely looking away towards the ceiling. “Um I’m going to start dinner.” Clarke scurries off and Lexa bites her lip. Does Clarke feel something for her? She hasn’t seen Clarke act this awkward since...well since high school actually, back when they were together. 

Lexa puts on her clothes and takes a moment to gather herself. She then moves to the kitchen where Clarke is cooking. 

“Something smells good.” Lexa says gently, her voice a little hoarse for some reason. 

“I’m making steak and veggies. Nothing too crazy but I know that steak is-” Clarke says and Lexa cuts her off.

“-my favorite. Thank you, Clarke. You really didn’t have to go to this trouble.” Lexa says softly, squeezing Clarke’s arm. Clarke smiles at her. 

“I wanted to. I like to make you smile. Your smile is really pretty.” Clarke says and Lexa immediately blushes. She can’t fight her feelings when Clarke is complimenting her like that. Lexa has slowly watched her walls fall down even more so with Clarke these last few months. She barely has any fight left in her to resist her feelings for Clarke.

Lexa shuts her eyes and smiles to herself. Clarke looks at her with the same twinkle in her eyes that she used to have for Lexa back before all the high school drama and heartbreak kicked in.

“It’s only gonna be a few more minutes before this is ready. Do you want to grab the wine for us?” Clarke says softly. Lexa bites her lip.

“Yeah sure..” Lexa pours the wine and soon enough the pair are eating the delicious meal Clarke made for them. The lighting a little dark and they’re sitting close together. Clarke’s apartment is pretty small. Clarke’s dad makes a lot of money so he offered to get Clarke an apartment to rent with Raven in the city instead of living in a dorm. That’s why Lexa and Clarke usually stay at Clarke’s place instead of Lexa’s even smaller dorm room.

They finish eating and Lexa realizes how intimate and date like this is. Everything about today has felt almost surreal. She knows that the line of friendship between her and Clarke has been blurring for awhile now but she’s been trying to fight it. After today, she doesn’t think she can fight it anymore. 

Clarke gets up to clean the plates and Lexa helps her. They get in the kitchen and are laughing and it’s perfect. Everything about this moment is perfect. There is a romantic song playing in the background on the radio and Clarke is pouring more wine. It feels like just out of a movie. 

“Lexa..” Clarke says softly. “What are we doing?” Clarke says vulnerable, buzzed from a few glasses of wine.

Lexa pauses and puts her own wine glass down. “Me and you?” 

Clarke nods slowly. “You know what I’m asking you, please don’t make me explain it.” Clarke says in almost a pained voice. “Is this all in my imagination or do you have feelings for me too?” Clarke says shyly. Lexa does not miss the ‘too’ at the end of Clarke’s question. Clarke has feelings for her. 

“It’s not your imagination.” Lexa says firmly. Clarke looks up at her, her face etched in surprise. “Clarke, I don’t want to make the same mistakes like last time.” Lexa says gently. “I..you’re my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend too.” Clarke says with a sad smile. Lexa is rejecting her. It hurts but it’s necessary to move on. It makes the fact that she has to marry Costia one day an easier pill to swallow. “Look just forget I said anything. It’s the wine.” Clarke says with sad eyes and a pained smile, her voice cracking. “Let’s just um..go watch that movie you picked out.” Clarke hurries toward the couch. 

Lexa doesn’t move, gripping the sink tight with her eyes shut tight and her face in a frown. Lexa has been trying to convince herself that Clarke doesn’t feel the same this whole time, but now she knows the truth. Lexa wants to be with Clarke more than anything but she knows she can’t offer Clarke anything real. She’s set to marry Costia. And Lexa knows deep down that if anyone could unravel her plans it would be Clarke and in the best way possible. Lexa wishes she could be selfish..but she just can’t. Her family’s well being and safety comes first. 

Lexa hits the sink a little and walks out of the kitchen to where Clarke is on the couch. She can smell the nervous, sad pheromones Clarke is trying not to send out but is obviously having trouble control. 

“Clarke..” Lexa says in a small, vulnerable voice while sitting on the couch next to Clarke who refuses to look at her. 

“Do you remember that night on Luna’s rooftop?” Clarke cuts off Lexa before she could ramble any apologies. Lexa looks stunned at the change of pace and abrupt shift of conversation so she just dumbly nods, clueless to where Clarke is taking this. Clarke smiles sadly at the memory. “I told you that a part of me would always love you because you were my first love. Do you remember that too?” Clarke says evenly, even though her heart is bursting with nerves. Lexa’s throat is dry and her mind is running a million miles a minute. She doesn’t understand what Clarke is trying to say right now. Clarke...Clarke can’t be saying what she thinks she is saying, could she?

“I.. I remember.” Lexa’s voice cracks immediately. Clarke takes a deep breath and then sighs. Lexa is suspended in time, too afraid to move as if one quick movement will send Clarke running. The loudest silence of either of their lives fills the room as Lexa patiently waits for whatever is going to come out of Clarke’s pretty mouth next. 

“It’s still true, you know.” Clarke whispers delicately, like her words might break if she says them too loud. Clarke turns to Lexa, who is completely shocked like a deer in headlights. Her brain and heart are going a million miles a minute. Her omega is crying out in happiness. Her green eyes are wider than they ever have been and her cute little mouth is in a ‘o’ shape. “I love you. I am in love with you. These last few months have made me feel more than I have ever felt before..I..I can’t explain it. I’ve been trying to run away from these feelings for so long now, Lex. Now I can bury these feelings again with time. I can hide them away and really give them full closure this time around. I will try my hardest to move on.” Clarke says gently. Lexa’s heart feels like it’s been ripped to shreds. “But I don’t want that. God, that’s the exact opposite of what I want. I want to give us a shot..a real shot. I’m tired of hiding from this. I’m tired of tiptoeing around this imaginary line. But if you’re telling me you don’t feel the same way, then I’ll respect that. It will take some time, but I’ll let you go. You just need to be real with me right now. Tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for me?” Clarke says quietly. 

Lexa bites her lip and feels her whole body trembling. She loves Clarke with her everything. She wants a forever with her. She wants to wear Clarke’s mating mark one day and carry her pups. She wants it all, but her duty to her family comes first. She can’t abandon her family. There’s still Costia in the picture. She can’t drag Clarke into all of this. 

“I can’t promise you a forever, Clarke.” Lexa says quietly. 

“I’m not asking for that..not now at least. That wasn’t even the question, Lex. You’re deflecting” Clarke says passionately. “I’m asking you if you have feelings for me. Romantic feelings.” 

Lexa bites her lip and starts crying. Clarke immediately cups her cheeks. “What are you so afraid of?” Clarke says gently and lovingly.

“There are things you don’t know, Clarke.” Lexa says in between her tears.

“Then enlighten me.” Clarke says curiously, nothing but concern and love in her eyes. Lexa takes a moment to recollect herself. She rests her forehead against Clarke’s for a moment, breathing in each other's scents and holding onto each other for dear life.

“Titus.” Lexa says and Clarke immediately stiffens.

“What about him?” Clarke grits out. 

“Do you remember when I said he set up a mating for me?” Lexa says slowly. She immediately smells a spike of anger pheromones from Clarke.

“But you said he hasn’t mentioned that in years..” Clarke says, desperately trying to catch up. She really hopes Lexa isn’t insinuating what she thinks she this. 

“...I lied.” Lexa says with a sad smile. Clarke immediately shoots up from the couch, pacing. Lexa hurries up from her seat as well, trying to explain herself. “You’ve got to understand, Clarke, I knew how you would feel about this. I didn’t want you to freak out and go attack him or something.”

“Well you’re certainly right about the attacking part..” Clarke growls and walks toward the door but Lexa blocks her.

“No!” Lexa hurriedly says. “Clarke, this is out of your control.” 

“No Lexa!” Clarke growls and then shakes her head. When she opens her eyes, they are red. Lexa can tell Clarke is furious. Clarke cups Lexa’s cheeks and pulls her close. Her voice, suddenly soft again. Lexa can feel Clarke’s breath hitting her face. Lexa feels the tearing pouring from her own eyes. “You deserve to love and happiness. When you do decide to pick a mate, it should be because you love them and want to spend your life with them. You’re not property to be managed and sold.”

“Titus has more power than you realize. So many people are in his pocket. If you threaten him, he will either get you killed or plant enough evidence to get some horrific criminal charges to stick. I’ve seen him do it to his closest friends who he thought backstabbed him. He is heartless and corrupt. Trust me, he won’t blink an eye to hurting you or your loved ones. Clarke, there’s nothing you could do.” Lexa says emotionally. Clarke pulls away and goes to the counter, gripping the furniture’s edges. She growls louder than she ever has. Then silence fills the room again, the only sound being Lexa’s emotional teary-eyed hiccups from all the crying. 

“Do you know who your mate is supposed to be?” Clarke asks through gritted teeth.

“Costia Winters.” Lexa says evenly.

“Have you met her?” Clarke asks gently. 

“...Yes.” Lexa says sadly. Clarke whimpers. Both of their alphas are pained at this conversation. 

“Have you..have you been with her?” Clarke asks in a vulnerable whisper.

“No I haven’t. I don’t...I don’t have feelings for her, Clarke. This is a business transaction essentially.” Lexa says and Clarke turns around. “Please, this is the way it has to be. We won’t mate until after I finish law school.”

Everything is silent. Lexa bites her lip and looks toward the door. She feels as if she has overstayed her welcome and caused Clarke so much pain, exactly what she was trying to avoid. “I should go..” Lexa says and Clarke doesn’t say a word to stop her. Lexa nods, mainly to herself, and starts to walk toward the door in silence.

“You never answered my question.” Clarke says softly. Lexa stops in her place. “Do you have feelings for me?” Clarke turns around and starts slowly walking toward Lexa. 

“Do...you...have...feelings...for...me?” Clarke says as she slowly takes step after step toward Lexa. Lexa bites her lip and looks down.

“Yes...yes I do.” Lexa starts to cry and falls into Clarke’s arms.

“Are you in love with me, Lex?” Clarke says softly. She knows Lexa is trying to hide her feelings for her because she believes she is doing what is right, protecting Clarke. But Clarke loves Lexa. She will fight until her last dying breath for her. If Lexa loves her, then she will be all in. They will find a way to make it work, Clarke just knows it. 

“Yes..I-I’m in love with you. I’ve been in love with you since our sophomore year of high school. I’ve never stopped loving you.” Lexa says emotionally but shakes her head immediately after her love confession. “This isn’t fair to you, Clarke.” Lexa cries into Clarke and the alpha soothes her. Lexa’s legs give out so Clarke gently guides them toward the floor. Clarke hugs Lexa tight as the brunette cries to her. 

Lexa doesn’t cry to anyone, only Clarke. Lexa has only cried in front of Clarke, not even Luna. Not even Clarke realizes how big of a deal it is that Lexa is so exposed and vulnerable to Clarke that she will cry in front of her. 

“Let me be the judge of what is fair to me and what isn’t.” Clarke says softly. Lexa hiccups and slowly calms down her breathing. Once she has stopped crying, Lexa looks up at Clarke. Lexa looks right back at her and is convinced Lexa is the most beautiful person in the world. Even when Lexa is crying and her face is all red and blotchy and swollen from the tears, Lexa is the most beautiful woman in the world to Clarke and that will never change. 

Clarke pushes back Lexa’s hair, which is now wet with tears and curling up. Clarke uses the pads of her thumbs to wipes away the mascara mixed with tears staining Lexa’s prominent upper cheeks. Lexa sucks in a sharp breath, knowing what Clarke is about to do. Clarke leans down and moves to kiss Lexa. She lets her lips stop right before touching Lexa’s lips, leaving the choice up to the brunette. “Be brave with me.” Clarke whispers against Lexa’s lips. 

In that moment, Lexa knows. She can’t run away from this. This is inevitable. They are inevitable. And if they aren’t going to work out, then Lexa wants to exhaust every effort to see if they could work out. Because if her and Clarke could work out, she just knows it could be beautiful. Sometimes she can be selfish. Sometimes, Lexa is going to have to demand more than just survival out of life. Life is more than just survival. 

Lexa and Clarke kisses passionately and fervently, not knowing where they will be tomorrow but knowing that each other's arms is enough for right now. For the first time in so long, maybe ever, Clarke and Lexa feel as if they are home..and neither ever want to leave. All the complications will figure themselves out. Because Lexa and Clarke love is a force to be reckoned with and they are not hiding away from it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts???


	12. At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa finally reunite!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a heads up, this chapter is a whole lot of smut

“Lexa..” Clarke mumbles against Lexa’s lips. Lexa is trembling in her arms from the sheer emotion of their kisses. Lexa kisses back gently but passionately, afraid that if she kisses too hard she might wake up from this dream.

“Maybe we should move to the couch..” Clarke says between kisses. They are still on the floor from Lexa’s tearful breakdown moments earlier. Lexa nods into Clarke’s kisses and breaks away from Clarke’s mouth, shakily standing on her two feet. 

Clarke follows Lexa with her eyes. Lexa shyly walks passed the couch towards Clarke’s bedroom. She stands at Clarke’s door with a soft nervous smile, her green eyes brighter than usual since her face is puffy red from the tears shed previously. Clarke cannot get enough of her. Lexa looks so gentle and pure in this moment it’s almost too much. The strong facade that the brunette usually wears is completely gone and is replaced with love and vulnerability. 

Clarke gets up and walks towards her. She cups Lexa’s cheeks. “Are you sure?” Clarke says quietly. Lexa bites her lip and nods.

“I love you.” Lexa says with the most emotion she has ever shown in her life. “I’ve never made love before..” Clarke raises her eyebrow slightly and Lexa chuckles nervously. “..like obviously I’ve had sex but I’ve never fully given myself to the person I was with. Even when I was with you in high school, I still guarded my heart..or at least I tried to. I want to be with you completely and fully, emotionally and physically..” Lexa says in a shaky, nervous voice. Clarke can see the embarrassed blush hitting her cheeks and the cute tips of her ears. Lexa sighs unevenly. “Was that too much?” She asks insecurely. “Is..is this too fast? Cause if you think so, I und-”

“Lex..” Clarke says in a equally emotional voice. Clarke puts her hand on Lexa’s chest, just to feel the steady rhythm of her love’s heartbeat. “Nothing about this is too fast. This is long overdue..” Clarke says with a easy smile. Lexa smiles a little and takes Clarke’s hand, leading Clarke into the alpha’s own bedroom. She brings her over to the bed and starts shakily fumbling with the buttons of her top, her eyes never leaving Clarke’s. Clarke puts her hands over Lexa’s and Lexa stops her movements in confusion. Lexa is so nervous right now. 

“Let me..” Clarke whispers before using her right hand to lightly pull Lexa in by the chin for a sweet kiss. Lexa sighs into the kiss and closes her eyes. She can feel Clarke’s nimble fingers unbuttoning each button on her blouse until the cool air hits her skin and her blouse and bra fall to the floor. Lexa opens her eyes as Clarke gets on her knees and softly kisses Lexa’s tummy. Lexa feels her heart ramming in her chest. She can’t believe this is happening. 

Clarke unbuttons Lexa’s pants and helps her take her pants and panties off. She is completely bare for Clarke. Clarke looks up at Lexa with eyes hooded with lust and love. Clarke kisses up Lexa’s body until she is back at Lexa’s lips. Lexa looks at her with soft vulnerable eyes. Her heart is completely on the line this time. 

Clarke kisses her as Lexa then starts to unbutton Clarke’s top and unhook her bra. It’s all going so slow yet so fast at the same time. Clarke helps Lexa take off her own pants and then they stand there for a minute with nervous smiles painted on their face.

“I feel like we are doing this for the first time.” Clarke says softly and Lexa bites her lip.

“Me too. It feels so new..so different.” Lexa says in a whisper. Clarke pulls Lexa in for a kiss and then lays her on the bed.

Clarke’s hands move to Lexa’s breasts to her ass and all over her body. Lexa puts her hands in Clarke’s soft blonde hair and pulls gently causing Clarke to playfully growl. Lexa’s heart is so full. She can’t believe this is happening. She can’t believe she’s hear right now.

Clarke’s hand slides in between Lexa’s thigh. Lexa arches into the touch and Clarke smirks into the kiss. “Don’t get cocky.” Lexa whispers and softly smiles as Clarke starts to rub Lexa’s clit just as she remembers Lexa liked it from all those years ago. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Clarke whispers as her fingers slide down more, teasing slightly at Lexa’s entrance. Lexa bites Clarke’s lip and Clarke moans. Clarke slowly puts one finger in and starts pumping in and out. Lexa’s hands run up and down Clarke’s muscular back. Clarke adds another finger and everything is going so slow and passionate and perfect.

“I love you, Lex.” Clarke says against Lexa’s lips before moving to kiss the tip of Lexa’s nose. Lexa breathes heavily as she feels herself being worked up. She feels like she’s about to come already.

“Oh god..” Lexa moans out, unable to reciprocate Clarke’s ‘I love you’ right now. Clarke teases Lexa and stops her movements. Lexa groans and sighs out, her eyes opening up in confusion and her mouth forming into a pout.

Clarke kisses her shoulder before removing her fingers from inside Lexa. Lexa is trying to calm down her breathing. Lexa is just about to ask Clarke why she stopped when Clarke takes one of her breasts in her mouth. Lexa gasps softly. Clarke kisses down Lexa’s stomach again until she’s situates herself begin Lexa’s thighs. She pulls Lexa in close and starts kissing and licking and touching Lexa where she needs her most. Soon enough, Lexa is breathing heavily and moaning Clarke’s name again. Lexa grabs the sheets and orgasms with Clarke’s name on her lips. Her body feels limp and warm. Lexa shuts her eyes for a moment, feeling Clarke’s lips kiss up her body lovingly. 

Clarke settles on top of her, purring, and enjoying being in Lexa’s presence. Everything feels right about this moment. Clarke pushes back Lexa’s frizzy hair from her hair and smiles bright and Lexa opens her eyes back up, sporting a timid smile. 

Lexa leans up and kisses Clarke’s lips and they slowly get back into a heated makeout session. Hands flying everywhere, the need to touch each other more rises. Clarke can smell Lexa’s aroused pheromones. Lexa gently tugs at Clarke’s boxers and Clarke breaks the kiss and looks at Lexa intensely. “Are you sure?” Clarke asks softly. Lexa nods, her eyes never breaking away from Clarke’s passionate gaze. “Yes.”

Clarke takes her boxers off and they start to kiss again. Clarke leans over into her top nightstand drawer and retrieves a condom. Once the condom is on, the alpha gets in position to push in. Lexa wraps her legs around Clarke’s ass as Clarke slowly pushes in. They are making direct eye contact with Clarke listening to every quiet moan Lexa is trying to hold back.

“I like when you make noise, Lex. Don’t hold back.” Clarke whisper into Lexa’s ear. Lexa blushes. For some reason, she feels so shy with Clarke right now. She’s always so confident but right now, this truly feels like a new experience to her.

Clarke pins Lexa’s hands above her head, just like she remembers Lexa likes. Lexa has always liked when Clarke took control. Lexa immediately feels 100 times more wet and Clarke’s actions. Clarke starts to move at a slow pace, both of them enjoying how connected they are. All the times before either of them have had sex with anyone else, it’s always been high energy. Right now, it’s slow and loving. Clarke wants to make this last. 

As Clarke continues to thrust in Lexa, Lexa throws her head back and shuts her eyes tight. She scratches down Clarke’s bareback and Clarke growls a little. Clarke’s eyes turn red and Lexa’s eyes turn purple, their wolves taking over slightly. Clarke’s hips speed up as she feels herself on the edge of coming.

“Lexa..Lex..Lexa” Clarke moans Lexa’s name as she starts to come. Clarke bites Lexa’s shoulder enough to bruise but not enough to leave a mate mark. Lexa starts coming immediately once she feels Clarke’s teeth marking her skin. Her moans are louder than they ever have been before. Their breaths are labored and intense. The bed creaks with every purposeful thrust of Clarke’s hips. 

When they both come down from their highs, Clarke removes herself and cleans them both up before cuddling into Lexa. Lexa purrs as Clarke hugs her tight, pulling the warm blankets over them. Lexa kisses Clarke’s forehead and plays with Clarke’s hair. They’re quiet, both girls trying to process all the emotional and physical intensity they just experience. It’s not a bad quiet though. Both girls are happy and complete in each other's arms as they drift off to sleep. If only they knew of the nightmare they would be waking up to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts??


End file.
